Attaining The Impossible
by xx.aesthetic
Summary: AU; SasuSaku; Working as a maid in Uchiha Sasuke's mansion should have been a dream. But with a jealous 'wife,' a baby that's a handful, a mother who's got the wrong idea, and intrusive guests, my dream turns into a nightmare. /What a dream.../
1. Chapter 01: Greetings

Authoress' Note: The summary leaves a lot to the imagination, hm? Well anyways, this is a new story again. Whatever. Onto relevant information: **this story is in first person point of view**. Why? Because I've always wanted to write a chapter story like this. -sighs- If you don't like it, then don't read, cause that's how it's gonna be. So there.

P.S. Sakura's point of view.

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Naruto. If I did, Karin would be like so non-existent. Did I mention that there's bashing on her part? Yeah, total. Oh, and she might be OOC. But who cares? She's a shallow nobody that can't brush both sides of her hair.

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**Attaining The Impossible**

Chapter 01: Greetings

As I stood there, squinting my eyes at the sun and marveling the mansion before me, I could only wonder how I made it there.

Oh, right, my evil mother and my conniving professor were plotting against me. You see, at the age of twenty-one, I am—or was, _ugh_—endeavoring to get through college. I've only made it like one-fourth of a ways through. (Three years left, genius.)

Anyways, with exams and course work, I've been especially busy. Studying always comes first. But, apparently, my mother seems to believe I'm overworking myself. How is that? Doesn't everyone sleep a maximum of four hours?

I guess not.

She consulted my professor and she agreed. (Thanks for having my back, Tsunade-sama!) So she said I could take like three moths off. Which, might I add, is totally not air to the rest of my peers! They work just as hard, and they're not getting any breaks! Alas, my objections fell on deaf ears. What a drag.

So, I was at home, bored and alone. I didn't expect to have company anyways. Girls who studied all day didn't get guys… cool ones, I mean.

But the point is, I was at home. _And _I was broke. At home, and broke. I couldn't have went out even if I had wanted to. Because, again I was broke. I asked someone I knew about jobs—someone's whose names is none of you business!—and I was directed here, as a maid.

At first, the whole thing seemed too convenient, but I needed the money!

I ended up answering the ad.

And now I'm here.

In front of a huge mansion.

No time like the present, I thought, heading up the steps. Which was difficult, especially when there were like a jillion and I had to lug my heavy suitcase around. Next time, I would make sure to buy an expensive one. One that didn't have faulty straps that didn't break.

Finally, I had made it to the top. Before I was able to plant my finger on the doorbell, the door opened. And the man who stood there was… a _god_. Like, the present Adonis. He had cold black eyes, and perfect hair and…

I cleared my throat.

Fawning over my boss would be terribly unprofessional.

Holding my head high, I offered him my hand. "Konnichiwa, Uchiha-san," I greeted, my voice stern. "My name is—"

"I know who you are, Haruno," He interrupted. Quite rudely in fact. He spared a glance at my hand, and I put it down immediately. Just rude… "You are Haruno Sakura, and, apparently, my new maid."

Wow…

…cold.

"Tch, come in. Don't just stand there, you have work to do."

"_Well_, _then_, how immediate," I hissed, narrowing my eyes at him. He moved aside, and I stepped into the _glorious_ house. It was wonderful! The roof was _feet_ above my head, and the chandeliers looked like they were made of actual glass!

Wait…

I heard howling.

_Bawling_.

I turned to him and smiled. "I had no idea you had a child!" I honestly had to suppress a squeal. I _loved _babies. Even more so than myself. They were so soft and cuddly and affectionate…

I sighed. "Where is he?! She?!"

He didn't seem as enthusiastic as me, though. He was frowning, and rubbing his ears as if the noise was _irritating_. It was wonderful! "Nice to know you enjoy them," He said sarcastically.

"Yes, in fact, I _do_," Yes, I had just back sassed the boss in which I had known for a total of twenty seven seconds. I chose to ignore him, and rather follow the noise. I know, I know, I was completely out of my place, but he was just gonna let it cry!

"Girl, where do you think you're going?" He asked, following close behind.

"To find your adorable bundle of joy," I answered, slipping into a reverie. Finally, the mellifluous crying reached it's highest, and it led me to two wood bordered glass doors. I opened them, and it was no surprise that I was in a nursery.

It was bigger than my room, for pete's sake.

The walls were lined with white clouds and doves. The ceiling was a clear blue. And all the furniture—which looked as though it had never been used—appeared so expensive that it looked too nice to even **be** used.

I walked up to the crib and… there it was. The _baby_. It was chubby and small and… adorable! Reaching down, and all the while shushing the small thing, I picked it up and held it against my chest.

"Excuse you," I glanced up at him, "What gives you the right to… How'd you do that?"

"What?" I asked, smiling at it. It giggled, and it seemed as though his little green eyes were filled with joy. Ah… "It's so cute, Uchiha-san…"

He neared me bit, but stopped as if I were contaminated. "You have a baby?"

"No, why?"

"It stopped crying…"

"Yeah, it sure did… _gross_…" I sniffed once. Twice. "I have no idea _why _it stopped crying. It needs to be changed!" I held it away from my chest, lying it on a table nearby. "How did you not know that your own child needed to be changed?! Shame on you!"

"I thought that that was _your_ natural smell."

I turned, and the stupid bastard smirked at me. What an insult! "At the risk of losing a job I have yet to start, I'll say nothing to that. But can you _please _just tell me where the wipes are?"

"Under the table she's lying on."

She, eh?

I always wanted a girl…

"So, what's her name?" I asked, whilst extracting baby wipes and such.

"Mikazuki," he replied, and leaned against a faraway wall. He was trying to avoid the scent… coward.

"What's it mean?"

"Something about a moon, or night." He shrugged. "At the time, I didn't really care about the meaning of the name."

"I can see why," I replied, smiling. I removed the diaper—_nasty_—and quickly tied it, before tossing it in the hamper. Then, I began the task of wiping… "I mean, when you're in the moment, I don't think that type of thing matters." After a few hits of baby powder and a new diaper, she was all ready to go. "Good as new."

I smiled again—and dammit my cheeks hurt—before lifting the baby and handing it over to him. "You're a lucky man, Uchiha-san. Now that I'm here, that is."

It was odd-looking… that baby in his arms. It was so small and fragile, while he was the epitome of masculinity in his white dress shirt. It was a bit difficult to believe that he was actually the father.

"Oh, and no extra cost to you. I changed her because I wanted to." I began to place the products where they belonged.

"Hn, I have to go." He gave me the baby once more. "I have a meeting tonight, and I need someone to watch the house." He walked out of the nursery. I followed him. "Satsuki's upstairs. She's six. Right now, she's sleeping. Don't feed her anything else sweet, she's had enough of that." He paused, turning toward me. "Her food," he pointed at the infant. "Is in the fridge. Be smart and figure out what it is."

As the child babbled against my shoulder, I knitted my eyebrows. "W-wait! I just got here! I don't know how anything works! A-and who's Satsuki?! You can't leave me all alone on my first day!"

He eyed me coldly. "You won't be alone; Karin'll be back." He turned his back on me _again_, and walked swiftly toward the door. "Just try not to destroy my house."

"Wait!" Before I could protest further, he stepped out of the house and slammed the door in my face.

Oh god, just what have I gotten myself in to?

_

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**To Be Continued**

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Authoress' Note: Yeah, I know, a bit weird. But, it was sorta, kinda a prologue. Chapter two will be longer and better!

Review!


	2. Chapter 02: Meetings

Authoress' Note: Aww, how nice. I got such encouraging reviews, even though I thought the story bombed. And first person point of view irritates me a little, but I'm trying to get good at it so I don't go back to third person. Ha.

Disclaimer: Wake up and smell the cherry blossoms. I don't own Naruto, and neither do you.

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**Attaining The Impossible**

Chapter 02: Meetings

You know, that was just plain _rude _what he did to me. He was supposed to give me like, a week or two to break the house in—to familiarize myself with it, so I don't get hopelessly lost when looking for the bathroom or something.

But _no_.

He went off to some meeting and left me to fend for myself. And still, I'm confused. But why wouldn't I be? I have no one to refer to. Just exactly who is Satsuki? And Karin?

I sighed.

About an hour ago, Mikazuki fell asleep after I fed and burped her. I mean, she was cute and all, but a person can only take so much! My back _ached_. But I suppose that was because babies weren't intended to be carried around for hours.

I headed upstairs, to at least sneak a glance at this _Satsuki_ girl. I had no _idea _this guy had one daughter, but now two? Honestly, all my dreams are being fulfilled.

Suddenly, I frowned. His staircase was _way _too long. The entire thing seemed to spiral forever. It was a mystery to me as to how he managed to maneuver them.

When I finally made it to the top—now my _legs_ ached—I saw a small girl, most likely this Satsuki person. She was a cute little girl, with black eyes and thin hair that made it just to her shoulders.

Yeah, she was cute alright, but I didn't like this vibe I was getting from her. As soon as I laid my eyes on her, she scowled at me. And as soon as she scowled at me, tears welled in her eyes. And then, of course, she bawled. It definitely was _not _as soothing as Mikazuki's cry.

"W-wait," I began, standing fully. How could she possibly cry when I was around? "What's the matter? I—"

She gave me no time to finish as she ran full speed straight into the bathroom that was across the stairs. She slammed the door, and apparently, locked it. Because _I _certainly couldn't get inside.

I knocked on the door with the back of my fist. "Hey! Come out!"

"Un…cle Sasuke…" I heard her mutter. "I want Uncle Sasuke! " Damn that kid could yell…

Uncle? He didn't tell me **that**.

"I want Uncle Sasuke! I want Uncle Sasuke! I want Uncle Sasuke! I want Uncle Sasuke! I want Uncle Sasuke! I want Uncle Sasuke! I want Uncle Sasuke!" She repeated it _over_ and _over_ again.

Ugh, I need an aspirin…

"Your uncle Sasuke isn't here right now!" I finally screamed, though that may not have been the best idea. Especially considering the fact that there may have been someone behind me.

"And you are?"

I turned, and there stood a… ahem, 'gorgeous' woman. Not really. Fair skin, red eyes, red hair—long and combed on one side, short and unkempt on the other (weird)—and an okay body (I could practically see it. I didn't know they made clothes that short). _This_ was Sasuke's wife, Karin? Well, maybe she was his girlfriend or associate, I didn't know.

"Oh," her eyebrows raised, as if she had the situation figured out. She placed her hands on her hips, and seemed to be examining me. "You're that new maid Sasuke-kun's told me about."

"I prefer housekeeper, thanks." I turned back towards the bathroom door. This girl just wouldn't shut up!

"Maid, housekeeper, house girl: it's all the same." She shoved me by the shoulder, taking my place in front of the door. "Your job is simply to make my life easier. In other words: don't fawn over my husband, or I'll throw your ass right back out on the street where you came from."

Where I come from, people get their hair pulled out for saying things like that. But, of course, I had a _job_ to do. And I couldn't get fired for someone (or something) like her. After all, how would it look if I sent someone I knew for an entirety of twenty seconds to the hospital?

"I don't _want _your husband. I _want _to do my job, and I _want_ to get paid, because _some_ of us actually have to _work_ for a living." Unlike mooching off our rich partners.

Karin—ugh, such an ugly name—knocked on the door. "If you come out, I'll give you a _yummy_ treat."

Gross.

So this was what the world has come to? Grown women now have to bribe kids with sweets? What a shame she was on all things feminine.

"You _do_ know you can't give her that, right?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows. Normally, I wouldn't have a problem with it, but it was the boss' orders: 'Don't feed her anything else sweet,' he said, and I plan not to do that. "He said not to."

"Who, Sasuke-kun? Are you kidding?" She stared at me incredulously, as if I had gone completely crazy. "Oh, please. Sasuke-kun has no say when he isn't here." She opened her purse, fishing around in it.

And, wow, the door came open.

Surprise, surprise.

Satsuki was still pouting, but she had her arm extended toward Karin. The older woman placed a strawberry pocky stick in the child's hand. She smiled, before sticking it in her mouth and walking down the stairs in a satisfied manner.

"See? It isn't _that_ hard to quiet them," she sighed, chuckling softly. "You really are new. Get with the program, girl." The woman shook her head, and brushed past me. "Oh, and be sure to stay clear form _my _husband, or your stay here will be… rather _unpleasant_." She smiled. "Ja!"

Bipolar bi—

I sighed. I _really_ didn't like her. And the fact that I couldn't do anything about it pissed me off even more.

But really—I needed the money.

I could do nothing but head down the never-ending stairs. It was a bit difficult to believe that I would actually live here for three months. I mean, what was I going to do? Although I was on the job, I still needed to be able to go out. I couldn't stay confided to this house for three months straight.

When I reached the first floor, I turned the corner and entered my room—one of the many guests rooms. It seemed as though Sasuke didn't have the common courtesy to at _least _escort me to my room. The most he could do was leave a crummy note on the door saying:

'_Keep it clean, Haruno.'_

Like, seriously dude, get that stick out of your ass. I haven't even know you for a full hour. And what if I didn't decide to roam the house? I'll tell you what: I wouldn't of found my room.

Whatever.

I like it though, because it was only a few rooms away for the nursery. And I _loved _that kid. I don't know why, it was like an 'instinctive attraction' or something.

My room wasn't all that bad. (Not better than the nursery, but not that bad.) It was a traditional white, with white bed sheets and such. The floors were carpeted white—only the rooms and den floors were—and there were a few ligneous dressers. Also, the closet was _large_. Much too large for what was in my suit case.

I plopped down on my bed, and grabbed one of the many books I had set on the dresser. 'How did I acquire them?' you may ask. Uchiha Sasuke has a _glorious_ archive. During my roaming, I happened to stumble across an in-house library sort of thing. This guy really _is_ rich…

I opened the book, and immersed myself in the world of fine literature.

Ah…

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"Ew, Sasuke-kun! Satsuki-chan's gotten sick all over your— _our_ expensive wooden floors!"

My eyes opened at that. I yawned, and spared the clock a glance. _Eleven o clock?_ I thought. _Who yells like a mad woman at eleven at night? Oh right, the one called Karin. _Pushing the very irritating thought to the back of my mind, I stood from the bed and stretched my arms.

It was time to go see what was wrong…

I sighed.

I somehow managed to make my way to the living room (I think that was what it was, but there were like three other rooms that could be considered living rooms…) where I saw a very sick looking Satsuki. The child was holding her stomach and was crouched over slightly.

Sasuke was back (ugh, finally!) but his face was twisted into something hateful. I didn't know what was _his _deal. He met my eyes for a quick second, before glancing at Satsuki.

Karin frowned and turned my way. "It was her Sasuke-kun! I told her not to feed any sweets to her, but she didn't listen! She said she didn't have to obey you when you weren't around!"

I narrowed my eyes at her, (and the ugly, wrinkled finger that was pointed in my direction) but dammit I was still confused! Then, for some odd reason, my senses heightened a great degree. My sense of _smell_, that is. Some thing smelled god-awful.

I took one look at the floor, and my stomach wrenched. Satsuki had _really _gotten sick. I mean, it was everywhere, and I felt as though _my_ dinner would accompany it.

"Listen, Haruno," Sasuke began, and my eyes shot up to his. "When I tell you not to do something, I expect you not to, understand?"

That conniving bitch.

Because of her (that ugly little wench) I was now on bad terms with him.

As I opened my mouth to inform him that the culprit wasn't me, I paused. And he would believe me because…? Looking at the situation, it'd probably end up like one of those cliché television dramas: with him not believing me cause I'm new, and him trusting her because she was his 'wife,' blabbity blabbity blah…

The point was, he had no reason to believe me.

I slapped my forehead. "Hai, I understand," I sighed out, "It won't happen again."

He seemed exasperated with me, and it was further confirmed when he spun on his heels and left the room wordlessly.

Karin placed her hands on her hips, "And now you see where you stand, _house girl_. Oh, and you do know that it's your job to clean this up, right?" She raised her eyebrows, and the crease in her forehead was terribly obvious (old lady). "While your at it, give Satsuki a bath: she smells _horrid_."

And so she left, straight in the direction of 'Sasuke-kun.'

I… well I glanced at Satsuki, and the mess she had made.

My work was cut out for me.

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**_To Be Continued_**

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Oh, and I still hated Karin.

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_**To Be Continued, Really**_

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Authoress' Note: Was it _good_? Ha, I kinda like this chapter.

Review.


	3. Chapter 03: An Unraveled Gift

Authoress' Note: This story is more popular than I would have thought it would be, and that isn't even that popular. ;) Well, here is another chapter, and note: the real plot doesn't come until _much _later in the story. I have to squeeze as much character development out as I possibly can, kay? (:

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

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Attaining The Impossible

Chapter 03: An Unraveled Gift

Surprisingly, the disgustingness of vomit is terribly underrated.

Vomit is chunky and slimy and gross and absolutely _repulsive—_I thought that I would be the next to hurl. I mean, every time it mistakenly touched my fingers… blah. This was certainly not what I signed up for. Cleaning up puke: now _that _would cost the Uchiha extra.

And giving Satsuki a bath would _also_ cost him extra. She was a devil in disguise. After the throw-up incident, I figured that the clean-up a child that reeked would be the least of my troubles. But no, I was horribly wrong.

She obviously wasn't fond of being seen naked by a stranger. (I didn't know why, though. I mean, do children as young as her really know anything about that?) So after about thirty minutes of trying to strip her (that sounded _so_ wrong) I managed to get her into the bathtub.

'Well, how did that end up?' you may ask.

It ended with blood, and teary eyes. (My blood—she scratched my cheek in the struggle. Ugh. And her tears—somehow, I became the enemy. Kids loved me, so it was a large blow in my ego.) I dressed her in some footy pajamas that I had found, and whisked her off to bed. (Because really, no child was supposed to be up after midnight.)

Anyway, now that my horrific incident of terror was over, I finally had the chance to get a sufficient sleep. I had gotten a bit of shut eye earlier in the night (remember, with the book?) but that did not suppress my tiredness.

I headed down the stairs again, being sure to take it slow, as I was now a victim of lethargy. And to add to that, the house was now dark, as most everyone had gone to sleep. Even the bi— I mean _witch_ Karin. Yeah, witch. Not that other thing. Even if I _was_ thinking that.

Despite the fact that it was dark, I managed to find the hallway. There was one nightlight there, which was good, because that house was _pitch-black_. The second I passed Mikazuki's nursery, I sighed. And stopped.

I seemed to have known that she getting ready to bawl.

I hurried into the infant's room (thank god for nightlights!) and stared into the crib. She was squirming and crying, looking rather uncomfortable. Sighing, I reached down and grabbed her, holding her to my chest.

"Maybe you're just hungry," I said to her (though I knew full and well she didn't understand a _damn_ thing I said) rocking her tiny body slightly in my arms. I left the room and reentered the hallway, making my way to what _looked _like a kitchen from far away. (Once again, I tell you: it was dark!)

I crossed the room swiftly, not wasting anytime to get to the refrigerator. I opened the door, narrowing my eyes slightly, because my eyes hurt from the light it emitted. "Formula, _formula_…" I thought out loud. My eyes found the clear bottle, and I extracted it with my hands.

"Take it, kid. If you're really that hungry." Cuteness could only go so far. Deprive me of my sleep, and I turn nasty.

Rawr.

I held it up to her lips, and with no hesitation, she accepted it (Literally. She took the bottle from me. Talk about kiddie strength. What was in that _formula_?) I sighed in a relieved manner. Adjusting her into my left arm, I hoisted myself onto the island with my right. I know, it was not in my place to sit on anywhere that had contact with food, but I was bushed. And at this point, I do believe I deserve it.

After all, it was only my _first day_…

"What are you doing up?" I turned my head, and a silhouette (one that was Sasuke, no doubt) stood a few feet away from me. He walked toward me, stopping at my side.

Of course, I was compelled to examine him. I can officially say that this was my first time seeing my boss (it felt odd calling him that) in a white t-shirt and black boxers. And I have to admit, he had nice—

Bad thoughts, Sakura. Bad, bad, thoughts.

"Well, after I cleaned up your niece's _barf_," I emphasized it, because the task was absolutely disgusting. "I cleaned her up and sent her to bed. Then, I came down here, and Mika-chan was crying. She was hungry. _See_?" I moved my arms to show him the baby who was currently feeding.

"Mika-chan?" he raised an eyebrow. The way he said it just sounded so wrong. Maybe it was because men like him weren't supposed to use the suffix '-chan.'

"Yeah, just a cute nickname, I guess. It fits her, because she _is_ adorable." I looked down at her: bottle still clutched in her hands, eyes closed, drinking her life away… I mean no! She wasn't drinking her _life away_… she was just drinking…

"Hn—" somehow, I figure out that this was his language. Perhaps another instinct of mine. "—You couldn't close the fridge? Despite what you may believe, I have to pay bills."

"Yeah, so what?" I asked, rolling my eyes. In the corner of my mind, I slapped myself for taking offense to everything so quickly. "You're like a bazillionaire, so a couple extra yen won't hurt. Besides, I needed light."

"Hn." There was his language again.

"So, what is it that you wanted? Do you always roam your house late at night, Sasuke?"

"Sasuke?" Again, he raised his eyebrow. Oh, I probably shouldn't have called him that—lack of respect and all that.

"Yeah, gomen boss-man," I joked, "I've never been one for formalities. It's not my thing." I shrugged, tilting the bottle in her chubby hands slightly. "You don't mind that type of thing, do you? Because I absolutely will _not_ become the maid that bows at your feet."

"I don't expect you to be," he replied dryly. Sasuke moved from where he stood, and walked to the refrigerator. There… there was where I saw my _man_-_angel_. Mmm… You see, when he leaned into the refrigerator light, I saw him. Like, really _saw_ him. The side of his face was illuminated, and I saw defined cheek bones, golden skin, piercing black eyes…

Bad, Sakura! Bad thoughts! Stop it! He's your boss, not your eye candy! But, honestly, even I couldn't deny it—Uchiha Sasuke was gorgeous. I had no idea why it took me this long to realize it, because the second I met his eye, I should have been dumbstruck. I was surprised that I wasn't.

He retracted his head from the refrigerator. He turned to face me, scowling. "She's done," he said simply.

Oh, damn. I think he caught me staring. How was I supposed to play this one off?

"She's… sh-she's done…" I repeated, sounding utterly unintelligent. It was difficult to speak when he was staring straight at me, allowing me to drown in those _eyes_ of his…

"She's done, Haruno. Don't kill my child."

Once he had said 'Haruno,' I was snapped out of my reverie. While pleasing to look at, he was certainly an asshole.

Glancing down at Mika, I realized that her sucking on the bottle had slackened. (You people have dirty minds. She's an infant!) It was a mystery to me as to how she could fall asleep while eating, but maybe it was just a baby thing.

I removed the near-empty bottle from her hands, and hopped off the counter. The fact that I knew that his eyes were glued on my back pissed me off—I was sure he suspected me to have been drowning in his masculine beauty. (Even if I was, I would _never_ admit it.)

"Gomen nasai," I said sullenly, disappointed that I was distracted by him. My shoulder brushed his own (don't read into it, Sakura…) as I passed him, taking a few steps to the fridge and replacing the formula.

I adjusted Mika once more, holding her to my chest with both hands. "Oh, and that reminds me, _Sasuke_," I spun on my heels, expecting to meet his back, but somehow, in that small frame of time that I put the bottle in the fridge, he had turned to face me. I sighed— I couldn't allow him to distract me again.

"I must say, I'm a bit disappointed in you. This is my first day in this house, my first day on the _job_, and you accuse me of disobeying you?"

He shrugged, holding a bottle to his lips. (_Red_ liquid. Best known as tomato juice. Ew… I can't down that stuff. Tomatoes are meant to be eaten, not drunk.) After swallowing, he sighed. "You didn't."

"Da—" Before I cursed, I took note that there was a small child on the premises. "Take this however you want, but it was Karin who gave her that stupid treat. Pocky or something, I don't quite know. It wasn't me, and I want to clear me name."

"It wasn't you."

"Then why—"

"Haruno, don't question things," he ordered, replacing the cap on the bottle. He placed it in the refrigerator, and neared his face. (Ah, heaven.) I blushed, and could barely breathe. "After all, it's only your _first _day," he whispered, before backing away.

I _had_ to frown at that. Was that supposed to be _witty_? I guess I was mentioning it quite often though… But still! He took advantage of my weakinthekneesitis. (Heh, fake diseases pwn.)

Scratching the back of his head, I watched as he exited the kitchen. "Just go to sleep, Haruno."

I did exactly that (after finally closing the fridge with my foot and putting Mika to bed, and trying to forget our close proximities. (God, I was shaken up.))

I sighed.

I was _so_ ready for bed.

* * *

The next morning, I was happy to say that I was completely revitalized. I wasn't weak, my eyes no longer burned like _hell_, and I was _so_ ready to spend a full day in the Uchiha mansion. (Working, of course, but I was still living in this glorious place.)

I stepped out of the shower (yeah, I totally got a private bathroom. Suck on that.) and wrapped a white, fluffy towel around my body. The air was moist and thick, so breathing was bit difficult. I disregarded it though, because I was about to leave anyhow.

When I opened the door, I paused in shock. I was frozen. There was someone standing there (and yes, I was sure it wasn't my reflection) seemingly as shocked as I was. It was a male with spiky blonde hair, who was roughly about three inches taller than me. He had cerulean eyes, a darker complexion than me, and odd whisker type things on his face.

But anyway, after a second of registering the fact that a _male_ stranger stood before me, and that I was naked under the towel, I freaked out. As in, I screamed at the top of my lungs and fell backward in utter shock and embarrassment, while holding the towel higher above my chest.

"Get out! Who the hell are you?! How did you get in here?!"

To piss me off further, he merely stood there, staring at me with is mouth ajar, as if in awe at the sight of my near-naked body. His cheeks then turned a pale pink, before he raised his blonde eyebrow. "Woah…" He blinked, before screaming, "Ne, teme! There's this hot naked chick in your house! One that _isn't_ Karin!"

My eyes widened at that—just what did he expect from me?! Did I look like some easy whore?! "What do you—?!" I was cut off when someone appeared in the doorway beside him. A brooding, emotionless, smirking, familiar—oh god…

I took a moment to assess the situation.

Sasuke.

My boss.

Staring down at me.

In a short bath towel.

And to _think_, I thought Sasuke would be mature about it. But, _no_. He just stared at me, as if ogling—two men who I still could technically consider complete strangers were staring down at me, while _I_ was HALF-NAKED!—before some odd look crossed his face.

Perhaps he _was_ being mature about the situation. The pervert. (It's rated T(een), not M(ature), kiddos! And I barely know him!)

The raven haired male raised a fine eyebrow, before smirking amusedly. And somehow, I had a feeling he was no longer looking at my panicked face. I blushed.

The blonde stranger snickered, elbowing Sasuke in the ribs, though keeping his eye on me. "She's quite the looker, teme," he said in a hushed tone, as if it wasn't meant for my hearing. (I _did_, asshole!) "So, where'd you pick her up?"

I couldn't _believe_ it! He did think I was a whore! I… well I never! Was there a huge stamp across my over-sized forehead that read 'sucky sucky five dorra'? No! Course not!

"I didn't," he replied evenly, _still_ unmoving. Get out! I'm your maid, not your slut! That'd be Karin! (Wow, that was a nasty line!)

"She came to me." the smirk widened.

I… I didn't! I came for the job, the money, not a hot wild romp! Ugh… They were overwhelming me, really. And the staring was unnerving. Did I look like a piece of meat? And what did they plan on doing, anyway? Did they _think _that they were going to rape me?

I didn't know why I couldn't say anything, it may have been the fact that these two were the first grown men to see me partially naked, but… I was humiliated, and cowering like a child. My tongue just wouldn't move.

So I did the only thing I knew how.

I burst into tears.

Somehow, through my tears, I saw the blonde man's perverted leer transform into a guilty scowl, before he turned to Sasuke. "Teme, look what you've done! You've gone and scared her with your stupid half-assed smiles! And I was gonna get some too!"

His jaw tightened (yeah, I saw) and he turned to Naruto, frowning. "No you weren't, and how the hell is this my fault?"

"G-get out!" I screamed, standing from the floor quickly. "Get out! Leave me alone before I call the police. I could ruin you with charges of sexual harassment, stupid Uchiha! You know I could!"

His partially-guilty scowl turned into a displeased scowl in under a second. "Wait—"

"No, get out!" I roughly shoved them both out of the doorway, and slammed the door, before locking it. Afterward, I wiped my tears away, smirking triumphantly.

I just happened to be one of those ones who was blessed with fake tears.

Yeah, I could cry on impulse.

Sweet.

I placed my ear against the door, listening intently for sounds on the other side. I heard some conversing between the two men, (angry muttering and pointless yelling) before I heard the sound of a door shut. Obviously, they had finally left my room.

I sighed and flipped my short, wet hair out of my face. I unlocked and opened the bathroom door, before stepping out in my glorious dampness. Then, I headed over to my closet to find something to wear. Something simple, and _perhaps _subtly sexy. Maybe. Just maybe.

Nah.

Just as I reached my closet (yeah, I know you're all going 'WTF could possibly happen now?') the door opened.

Was it:

a) the bathroom door (bubble ghosts. Ha)  
b) the closet door

or

c) the exit

Take a moment to guess! -insert smiley face and corny game show music-

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Alright, that's done. If you chose c), then good for you, bad for me.

The exit to my room creaked open, and alas, it was, my boss. Normally, that would have been alright to a degree (because I was partially covered) but I didn't expect to see him or that stranger again until I was dressed. So, of course, stupid me forgot to lock my bedroom door.

I had no idea that the knot on the towel I had wrapped around my body had loosened (and I was too distracted by Sasuke's presence to notice, so…

"Haruno," he began rudely, "About those calls to the police—" He had stopped speaking because he was to busy staring. Yeah, staring. At—guess what?—the body that had once been covered. The towel was around my ankles. In other words, my COMPLETELY _nude_ body was exposed to the hungry, ogling eyes of my **b-o-s-s**. Once again, his onyx eyes were no longer on me, but… down past my chin.

A pause.

I screamed (covering my body the best I could… _oh god_!) as loud as I could, because a hoarse voice would be the least of my worries.

I was certain that after this, I would _die_.

* * *

**_To Be Continued_**

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Authoress' Note: Alright, I'll say this—I hate short chapters. It wasn't going to be this short, but I'll be gone away from home until Sunday, which means that I won't get access to a computer. Which means a longer wait. Sorry guys, but I had to cut it short, unless you wouldn't have gotten anything at all.

Haha.

Oh, and I must say that I'm very sorry that this story has been uneventful thus far. (Well, the end of this chapter… woah.) There is a plot here, so don't give up on me. The end of the story will have (censored spoiler) speaking to (censored spoiler), and he reveals that her (censored spoiler) was no coincidence, and that (censored spoiler) is (censored spoiler).

And another thing: don't try to discern the plot in a review. Because if you are correct (I doubt you will be) you'll ruin it for others.

c:

P.S. Sorry for those ellipses. I was feeling kind of random, so I threw a game show moment in there.

Review.


	4. Chapter 04: New Acquaintances

Authoress Note: Alright, buckeroonees. Your response has been overwhelming. I know, twenty something reviews isn't that much, but it is for me within only three chapters. :) So, thanks for that. Hehe… I'm all giddy. Anyways, here is my chapter four. Enjoy!

P.S. I'm cutting the Japanese. Why? Cause it irritates me a little.

((It used to be Romance/Drama, but I changed it. It's Romance/Humor, cause well, I don't see any drama. Yet.))

Disclaimer: No.

* * *

**Attaining The Impossible**

Chapter 04: New Acquaintances

"I don't want it."

I squinted my eyes at him, (Naruto Uzumaki, I recalled his name was) offended that he would say such a thing. A blatant refusal. How dare he? He was the guest, and I was the help, and naturally the guest accepted what the help gave, so I _had_ to offer him coffee. Or tea, since it was the afternoon. But he said no. How rude.

Placing my hands on my hips in an offended manner, I stood straight. I glared at the male, while he nonchalantly stared back at me, slouching in the white leather sofa.

"Sorry, but I don't believe I gave you a choice," was my reply, and I tired to make it sound as polite as possible.

His eyes found the lightly tinted glass coffee table, where he huffed in distaste at the sight of the tea. "I don't want it," he repeated, even though I had heard him clearly the first time. The blonde shrugged and folded his arms across his chest. "I want ramen, not caffeine, so get to it servantgirl."

I balled my fists at his remark. Even though I knew it was true, addressing me as such really pissed me off. We do what we have to to make a living, right? So that was what I was doing: making my money. Since when was that frowned upon?

I took a deep breath, and rolled my eyes. "I don't care about what you _want,_ you get what I give you, punk. Otherwise, go home and make your beloved ramen." I spat, trying _hard_ to keep my cool.

"Sasuke, your help is verbally assaulting me! Tighten the leash before she breaks loose!" he laughed, feigning fright.

"Bas—"

"Give him what he wants."

The living room fell silent after that. Hesitantly, I turned and met his eyes, and was unnerved at the grimness they held. He seemed to be glaring right through me, and really, it scared the crap out of me. "Wh-what?" Stupid, stupid, stupid! How could you stutter? That was a sign of weakness! Ugh…

Sasuke sat in the couch across from Naruto. He had his arms crossed in an intimidating fashion.

"I don't like repeating myself. Give him what he wants."

I shivered a bit. Why was he so cold all of a _sudden_? (Odd how those sentences compliment…) He had always been, but at that moment, he was more so than before. Yesterday night, he had been so willing to converse with me, but now, it was if I had done something wrong.

The look in his eyes…

Oh.

Of course.

He was discreetly undressing me with his eyes.

You would think that seeing me completely naked would be enough, right?

Nope.

Anyways, earlier in the day, (not much. About an hour ago.) my boss had seen me completely naked. I know, bummer right? In the beginning, he had just been staring at me. The room was still… and surprisingly, eerie…? I screamed, and the running as fast as I could in my nakedness, (don't ask) I slammed the door right in his face.

I think I hit his forehead when I did, because I had heard a loud 'thud.' Then, when he was gone, I made sure to cover as much skin as possible. I had been hyperventilating at that point (did I mention that I was freaked out?) but somehow managed to calm my self. Afterward, a forest green, skin tight tee was what I wore (probably not the best decision I had ever made) and plain, plain, plain, skintight blue jeans.

Skintight, yes, but it did hardly anything flattering to my figure. At that point, unflattering was the way to go.

I flushed as I thought back to that moment, and wondered why he would be pissed. _I_ was supposed to be pissed, not _him_!

Okay… think.

Perhaps I yelled too loud?  
Perhaps it was hitting his forehead?  
Perhaps it was threatening to call the police on charges of sexual harassment and attempted rape?  
Perhaps it was the fact that I didn't jump him when he saw me without cloths…?

Wait… scratch that last one.

"Haruno," I was snapped back into reality when I heard that. Was it just me, or did his voice sound really hot all of a sudden? Oh, god… "Give him what he wants, or I'll disclose the fact that while in my presence, you were completely—"

"—obedient!" I interjected, blushing wildly. I saw him raise an eyebrow, before smirking and going alone with the suggestion. Bastard… "I was completely obedient while in your presence, Sasu— " I caught myself. "— _Uchiha-sama_." Ugh, I had become what I hated: formal.

He had me _tamed_.

Damn.

"Disclose? I don't think you had to use that word if she was obedient, Teme. She's supposed to, because she's the servantgirl, remember?" Naruto asked, raising his eyebrows confusedly. He glanced at Sasuke, then at me, before scratching his head.

"Yes, she is, isn't she?" He raised his eyebrow at me, as if searching for my approval.

"Y-yes, I _am_," I smiled—even though on the inside, I was _burning_. "Fine, N— _Uzumaki-san—_" It _killed_ me to say that, really. "—I'll fetch your _ramen_." I spun on my heels, storming out of the living room. (As I did, I could have sworn Sasuke had said 'As you should' to me. Oh, I so want to kill him.)

A few angry minutes later, I made my way back to the living room. With, yes, the fool's hot ramen in my hands. It was nothing special, I made _sure_ of that. Just some instant cup noodles, you know, the usual when a person felt the need to be lazy.

Unceremoniously, I placed the plastic— and cheap— cup of noodles on the glass table. I stood straight, smiling as sweetly at Naruto as I could. (The thing is: it was bittersweet. Ha.) "There you are, your _precious_ ramen. I hope it's to your liking."

Naruto sat forward, examining the disposable bowl on the table. One look at the steamy contents, and I could tell that he was dissatisfied.

"What's this?" he met my eyes.

"Ramen, good sir." Placing my hands behind my back, I batted my eyelashes and nodded approvingly.

"_This_, is not ramen!" he wailed, pointing a shaky finger at me. "This is the stuff _I _can make at home! I don't want to come here and eat the same thing! Go back and make it better!"

"Uzumaki-_san_," I hated saying that! "Sorry to inform you, but this is a _mansion, _not a gourmet restaurant. If you were looking for something high-class, then I have to apologize, because you'll have to look elsewhere."

"Unacceptable! Go back!"

"Aw, c'mon!" I tried compromise. "It has _shrimp_!"

Off to my side— oh god, I had completely forgotten— Sasuke grunted. I glanced over at him, and he glared— once again— right through me. I cleared my throat awkwardly, and could not suppress the blush rising to my cheeks. (You just had to go and see me naked… It made my job a lot harder than it had to be…) It turned out then when I tired to ignore him, the awkward embarrassment was completely gone. But with his brooding aura… it was a tad bit difficult.

"Fine, I'll go make it with my _hands_," I said dejectedly at his stare, though sarcasm was oozing out of my voice. I planned to go back and dump the contents of the plastic cup into a _glass _bowl. By the looks of it, he wasn't that intelligent, so he probably wouldn't even know the difference.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. I was bit too intimidating, ne?" He folded his arm proudly.

I let the comment slide. _You wish, loser…_

As I leaned down to take it in my hands, Sasuke's voice stopped me. "Naruto, she's right. Don't come to my house expecting a meal, dumbass. Eat what you get, and stop complaining."

Wow… that was _manly_. Inwardly, I melted, though outwardly, I was dumbstruck, and blushing like a fool. Before any further action could be took, I heard a loud screech. We were all attentive at it, and Naruto and I showed it by scowling.

A—_the—_bubbly redhead suddenly appeared in the living room, walking with a quickly across the room, and swaying… her hips? Ew… Her outfit blinded me, as it was a fire red blazer, and a tight—too tight - I can see your cellulite, haha! (Kidding, ha…) - — pencil skirt, of the same color as the blazer. And, of course, matching three inch stilettos. Ugh… where was she going dress like _that_?

"Karin," Sasuke began gravelly, breaking the silence. He sighed, "Why the hell are you screaming like that?"

I couldn't believe it… he didn't even care that she was dressing like that… I mean, did he not see how much unnecessary cleavage she was showing?

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," she feigned a look of hurt at his curse, and truth be told, it was really ugly on an already unimpressive face. (Ooo, I am _so_ mean.) "Well, anyway, here, phone for you," she held the black cordless out to him. Before actually handing it over to him, she whispered, "They say it's _really_ urgent, by the way."

He muttered something that must have been unimportant, because he stood and left the room without repeating himself.

Karin placed her hands on her hips, before directing her red eyes at Naruto, who scowled at her. She slapped her hands together, and seemed to force a smile onto her ruby lips. (Girl, that shade is _not_ your color.) "Ah, Naruto-kun! It's so nice to see you again." Shoving past me— keep calm, Haruno— she bent over Naruto, giving him air-kisses on both his cheeks.

Really, who did that anymore other than old people?

Naruto grunted and wiped his cheeks with the back of his hands. They were air-kisses, they didn't actually touch your cheeks… This guy was a moron.

"I wish I could stay longer so that we could chit-chat, but I have photo shoots and the like. You know, the average life of a _model_." She emphasized the word, before turning and smiling 'slyly' at me. "Because, you know, that's what I am: a model. Envious much, house girl?"

I shook my head in a blatant no. "Nope. Not today, not tomorrow, not _ever_."

He snickered, even though we both knew full and well that it _wasn't _actually funny. He must have done it to tick Karin off, or something.

"Yes, well, you _shall_ be." she said, smoothing the front to her blazer. (No matter what you do, you can't hide that pouch. Wow… I am _really_ nasty nowadays!) "Ta-ta Naruto-kun! Talk with you later, hun!" With that, she walked quickly out of the living room. I was relieved, because I could finally breathe again. The perfume that had infiltrated my nostrils was gone.

"Oh, and another thing!" she reemerged, just like a nightmare. It always comes back… "Get that _junk_," she pointed at the cup. "off Sasuke-kun's expensive table! It costs money, peasant!"

I frowned at her, and waved her off as she left with quick strides. Rolling my eyes, they once again settled on Naruto, who was still wiping his cheeks. "You know, she didn't actually kiss you," I said matter-of-factly.

"Who cares? She kissed the air around me and now I feel dirty," he confessed, sighing. I rounded the glass table, before taking Sasuke's former seat. Ah, it sort of smelled like him still. Sort of. "God, I really don't like that chick…" he trailed off, then turned to me. "So… who are you? Like Sasuke's concubine?"

I nearly choked on my spit. Was he kidding? So he did think I was a whore… The bastard. For those of you who are wondering why this question is so offensive, read this conveniently placed definition:

concubine: **woman lover living with man: **a woman who lives with a man and has a sexual relationship with him but is not married to him

Yes, that was what he was saying I was. A _concubine_. Ooo, now I felt all dirty. Yes, technically, I _was_ living with Uchiha Sasuke, (_supersexyhotseductiveattractivemanlystudlysuaveUchihaSasuke—_please disregard that) but that did not mean I was sleeping with him! (_eventhoughiwon'tadmitthatikindasortawanttoforexpiremantalpurposesonly—_yes, disregard that also) The thought of sleeping with a man I was not married to was shameful. Simply _shameful_.

I scowled at him. "No, I am not his _concubine_!" I screeched, "As demeaning as it is, you called me a servant girl. Technically, _that_ is what I am. I am Uchiha Sasuke's housekeeper slash servant slash built-in-babysitter slash cooker-person! It was all in my job description! There's nothing smutty about it!"

His look was incredulous almost. His eyebrow was raised, and his jaw hung slightly ajar. Naruto scratched his head, "Is all of that another definition of concubine?"

"Oh _screw you _Naruto," I growled, hissing at him. There was no need to add the '-san' when Sasuke wasn't around, because I owed this man (Naruto) _no _respect. And uh, I _kinda_ resented him. Yeah.

"N-no offense, of course," he said quickly afterwards, waving off my anger. "But… it's not like Sasuke to hire house help. He doesn't seem to need it that much anyway." his eyes roamed the room. "Look around, does anything need cleaning?"

"No, and I was curious too… but as long as he's paying me then I'm good." I shrugged.

"Right, right," he trailed off. Whispering, he glanced around the room again. The man leaned forward suspiciously, "Okay, I'll get right out and say it: I'll pay you…" his voice lowered. "…to _seduce_ him."

My eyes widened.

I…

…was…

…not…

…a…

…common…

…_whore_!

Or hooker!

Or prostitute!

Or slut!

Or any other demeaning word for sexual indiscriminate woman who have no respect for themselves or their bodies!! There. I said it.

If you want one of those, then her name is K-a-r-i-n.

Karin!

Okay… I'm done.

But for him, oh, I was _just _getting started.

"What for?!" I screamed in disbelief, gripping the arms of the leather chair and leaning forward. "It's just me you don't like, right? You don't like me as a person, _right_?! Is that why you've been so rude?!" He frowned and shook his head slightly. "Yeah, it is! Wait, no it isn't, because you DON'T EVEN KNOW ME! You walk into a girl's shower and what do you do?! You call her a _whore_! Yes, you implied _it_! Well, excuse me for being naked in the bathroom after a _shower_! You have absolutely no respect for women! None at _all_! You are a dirty, dirty, unintelligent, good-for-nothing chauvinistic monster!"

I screamed, _all_ in literally one breath. Huffing, I narrowed my eyes at him, reveling at the sight of his cowardice. My sadistic side _fed_ off of his fear.

Naruto's eyes had widened considerably, and he was leaning back in the sofa awkwardly. His brows were knitted and his jar hung slightly ajar, amazed at my explosion. Obviously. "W-well, s-sorry…" he apologized with shallow breath.

I paused, releasing the chair's arms.

Wait… I hadn't really said that, had I?

…I had.

I really did not intent to say that at _all_. It was just that… I was _stressed_. I mean, I had gotten there yesterday, and _already_ I had changed diapers and fed babies and cleaned vomit and given baths and put children to sleep and dealt with jealous, snobby wives/girlfriends/associates (whatever she was) and been seen completely naked by the person I considered my boss…

And being called a whore didn't exactly help me ease my _already_ stressful job.

(Perhaps that was the reason that Okaa-san hadn't wanted me to get a job. After all, my purpose was to escape the stress of school.)

But, I suppose that screaming at him wasn't the best thing to do. (It didn't make me feel any better anyways. All I felt now was guilt.)

Ugh.

__

Guiltguiltguilt

I sighed, leaning back and closing my eyes. "I am _so_ sorry, Uzumaki-san… It's just… You've basically been implying that I'm a whore, and that word brings back bad memories about my Okaa-san and I… I-I don't really want to go into _any_ details…" I groaned and scrunched my face, rubbing my temples to suppress and oncoming headache. "I'm just _really_ sorry for that. I need to learn to control my temper…"

Cracking my eyes open, I caught a glimpse at his easing ace, though I knew that with another yell, he would go right back to scowling. "Uh, right…" he said slowly, raising his eyebrows. "Your name?"

"Haruno Sakura," I supplied.

"Yeah, as I was saying, _Sakura_, I wasn't calling you a… y'know. It was because of Karin."

"Karin? What does she have to do with you wanting me to sleep with Sasuke?" I glanced nervously at he door, checking to see if anyone was there. Good, all clear.

"_Because_," he began, an annoyed tone in his voice, "she only wants him for his money. I mean, whenever I'm over here, she's always saying stuff like 'Don't mess up Sasuke-kun's expensive _this_!' or 'Don't ruin Sasuke-kun's expensive _that_!' It's gross!" It may have been, but his girly voice was very impressive.

He continued, "_And _she's always gone! She's never at home during the day, and she usually comes home late at night— don't ask, teme once told me. Well, not _directly_ anyway… Whatever. Oh! And she's always giving me air kisses and stuff, telling me to tell Sasuke about how great she is."

"So, you want me to sleep with Sasuke _why_, again? – Did you even tell me? How do I come into this? All you just explained how terrible she was, Naruto." I explained after the plethora of questions.

(Hopefully, he didn't mind me using his first name.)

"Exactly!" He yelled animatedly. ((He didn't seem to notice.)) "If you could seduce him, then maybe he'll warm up to you, and you could be his girlfriend. That way, Karin could be out the door."

I shook my head. "Interesting prospect, but no. You seem to care about him— note the _seem— _but that idea is ludicrous. For one, I barely know him. For two, I am not sleeping with anyone while I'm here. For three, I'm not one for plotting the downfall of people. And for four," I paused and chuckled, (rhymes…) "Who says I would be any better than Karin?"

"_Anyone_ would be! I mean, you wouldn't cheat on him if you had the chance, would you?"

"Well, _no_." Because someone like me would be lucky to snatch a god like him.

"Then you're better! I suspect that she's cheating!"

I was unmoved by his revelation. "Sorry, but I'm not looking for a relationship, and none of this is my business anyw— " I couldn't help but stop mid-sentence, because coming toward me was… a baby girl? I squinted my eyes as she entered the room, crawling around the table skillfully (in nothing but a diaper and a green shirt, mind you) and tapping the front of my lower leg with her chubby palm.

I lifted her and sat her in my lap, the scent of 'Fresh-Babeh' infiltrating my nostrils. Her fingers found the golden pendant (a locket) of my necklace. I, of course, was still confused. "How did you find your way here?" She had a wonderful sense of direction, compared to my sucky one. (It was in that formula she drunk! It's all in the formula! I know it! That _concoction_…)

Naruto raised his eyebrows thoughtfully. "So you met her?" he asked, temporarily distracted from the subject of Karin. I nodded. "Well, she's a whiny little brat…"

"To you, maybe, but she _loves_ me," I stated proudly. Sparing a glance down, I made sure that my golden treasure wasn't in her mouth.

(I _loved_ that pendant. No, not because of anything cliché like: OMG my dad died an it's a memento. (No offence, of course) It was because of the fact that the guy I decided to give my heart to would open it, and place his picture conveniently beside mines. Ah, wouldn't that be sweet and so-not-cliché? Because yeah, the space would stay open for my soulmate…)

I stood, steadying her to my side by placing my arm under her diapered bottom. (Tst, tsk, you dirty readers…) "Well, now that she's up, I suppose my job starts. I'll see what's taking Sasuke," I said, walking away from him. "It was nice meeting you, by the way!" Though, I meant the formal meeting. The first meeting was rather… naked.

"Yeah, you too…" he said softly, but I heard it anyway. I sighed— he was a rather nice person, and he _seemed_ sweet, though perverted…

Exiting the extravagantly large living room, my feet were leading me to the kitchen to possibly try out the dishwasher, which, by the looks of the sink full of dishes, hadn't been used much. But as I made my way there, I decided to make a pit stop to the dining room. Perhaps I was looking for Sasuke, but…

Who knew that except me?

I had to look for him and talk to him, because things were going to be _too_ awkward between us if I didn't. And awkwardness is bad I was going to be working in his house.

Taking a left, I found myself in the eating area. (Unused too, probably.) To my surprise (I didn't know why, I _was_ looking for him, after all) Sasuke sat at the expensive looking wooden dining table, his fingers crossed in front of his face. I scowled, and was no left to wonder why he looked so thoughtful.

"So… it seems as though you decided to be rather helpful today. You gave Mika-chan a bath, right?" He grunted. A yes, I supposed. Though it wasn't completely unexpected, as she _was_ still his daughter. I guess he could still do things like that.

"It seems as though you haven't noticed her snacking on your necklace," he said wittily, lowering his hands from his face. As he did, the smirk on his face was terribly obvious, and…

…his dimples showed.

It was _heavenly_.

Anyways, the pulling of the chain on the back of my neck became obvious. "Oh, _no_, don't go around sticking things in your mouth!" I pulled it away softly, before cleaning it off with her dribble bib. Later, I would give it a _thorough_ cleaning. She looked up at me with sparkling eyes, before giving my a toothless giggle.

Wouldn't that just melt your heart away?

"It seemed as though you didn't favor wearing cloths earlier today, Haruno…"

Smirk. Smirk.

Blush.

My blush, of course.

"Yeah, _about_ that…" I drawled, laughing nervously. "Can we try and forget that? It _was_ an accident— at least, I'll pretend it was, and do you a favor by not pressing charges— and well, I would be much more comfortable if you could just forget everything you saw and you're having mental pictures about it right now aren't you?"

"And if I am?" he asked (to my utter _horror_) evenly.

"Well… don't!" I screamed, reflexively tightening my hold around Mika. She twitched in my arms, and I knew that that was a sign that I had to loosen up. "You— " I lowered my voice, "You had no right to barge in on me like that, so it's _your_ fault. I have the _right_ to be naked after a shower."

He rolled his eyes, as if _I_ was the one at fault. "That may be, but I still saw you--"

"Don't you _dare_ finish that statement," I growled. And oh god, I was _actually_ beginning to hate him.

How can someone so beautiful be so… so vindictive? Snide? So _perverted_?

He stood slowly, and the chair backed away with a screech. Everything seemed to go all slow-motiony for a second, because I was frozen, and as he stalked toward me, every tense step was loud in my ears.

I frowned at the look in his smoldering, onyx eyes. It was predatory almost. But if that was truly the case, then I suppose that that that meant I was his _prey_?

That couldn't have been right, because it was just so _wrong_.

Before long, I could feel his eyes— _yes_, once again— undressing me. But this time I could envision heated bodies any moaning and… (Stop it Sakura!) Anyways, he was _too_ close for the likes of a boss-employee relationship.

The breath one my neck made me shiver, and I wasn't quite sure whether or not it was because of apprehension of anticipated.

(Don't blame me. I wasn't sure how someone like him— someone I hardly knew— could bring out so many whorish qualities. Perhaps Naruto's assumptions were right…)

"I _give_ the orders," he barked from behind me. (Don't _ask_. He had circled around me as if he was ready to flat out _pounce_.) "I _don't_ take them."

Turning around to face him, well… it didn't pan out like I had planned. The initial plan was for me to look him dead in the eye and tell him off, but… Yeah. That didn't happen. Instead, we were _much_ closer than I had anticipated.

That half-assed smile of his widened, and he leaned just the slightest bit closer. I had to keep reminding myself that Mika-chan was between us and she might have been squashed and that Naruto was in the other room and that he may come out and find us like this and—

The door bell rang.

I was _saved_!

Sidestepping, I managed to escape him. He seemed to cringe slightly, though I had absolutely no idea why. Whatever. At least _I_ was saved.

"Right, I guess I'm supposed to get that," I said quickly, forcing a nonchalant smile. He only stared back— it wasn't an amused smile, nor was it one conveying lewd thoughts. It was just a blank stare.

I broke the awkward silence. "Yeah…" Pause. Pause. "Here!" I suddenly shoved the child into his arms, before _bolting _out of the dining room. Right after being seen naked, _that_ had to be one of the most embarrassing moments of my life.

And was it me… or did it look like Sasuke was _into_ me?

Damn… how the hell could something like that happen? Was I giving him signs or something?! Was I blushing too much?! Well it was his fault dammit! Is this how every man is? They see a girl naked and then they get the urge to jump _her_?!

I was _so_ screwed.

Sighing exasperatedly, I tried to digest the _slim_ possibility that Sasuke may be a _bit _attracted to me. Even though he _couldn't_. I wasn't the least bit attractive!

Wait…

Shoving the thought aside, I unlocked the front door, before opening it. Standing there— oh my god!— was a modern time Adonis. No lie.

No exaggeration.

At all.

I was speechless.

The man— sex god number two, but _likely_ to become number one— held his hand toward me.

"Uchiha Itachi."

* * *

_**To Be Continued**_

* * *

Authoress' Note: Before you rant and rave about how terrible it was, let me just come out and say all this. I woke up earlier than I usually do (at about 7: 45) because I had to do the dishes and because if I didn't, my idiot brother would have stayed on for the entire day. No lie. I hadn't been on for the past two days _because_ of him hogging the computer.

-sigh-

Sadly, because I woke so early, I now have a splitting headache, and I feel weird. As in, I feel weird and my writing style changed weird. Ugh. I hate when that happens. I won't lie: I like the beginning, but toward the middle and the end, it sort of just slowly fell apart.

(I'll have to revise this chapter soon.)

Please don't give up on me. I'm trying to get these SasuSaku moments together, so in time. In time.

As a result of this slightly suckish chapter, I promise to make a kick ass chapter five. I _hope_ it'll be kick ass.

Please pray for me.

:(

Anyway, it'll be longer.

Review, unless you want to tell me how much this sucked. The next will be better, promise!


	5. Chapter 05: Petroleum Jelly

Authoress Note: Your authoress' is severely disappointed in herself. Like, _very_. Do you know why? Because recently, I read **fanonizer**'s (b. k. a. **ohwhatsherface**) SasuSaku fic called _TheCherryOnTop_. It was like extremely good. So much so that I don't believe my writing is up to par. That is the reason I constantly doubt myself. Because I read a story that is so wonderfully written, and then I read my own and am like, "Why does my writing suck feces?"

-sigh-

I can't do anything about it, I suppose. All I can do is write and improve and NOT try to be like anyone else out there. Because I am an unique individual. (After school special much?)

Anyways, shout out to my reviewers. You make me smile, even though I think I suck. (I need to believe in myself...) And shout out's to all my other mysterious readers. (Because _yes_, we all know that you guys exist. You add my story to your alerts and never leave a single review. I'm _onto_ you...)

(((Story best read at ¾ screen width.)))

Disclaimer: It all belongs to Kishimoto-sama. Naruto, I mean. This story is _all_ mine. Probably not the best, but I do try, trust me.

WARNING: This is so short that I am thoroughly dissapointed with myself. I am _so_ about to discontinue this story...

(Joking... maybe.)

* * *

**Attaining The Impossible**

Chapter 05: Petroleum Jelly

It was amazing how a girl like me (a girl that was practically invisible to everyone) could wind up in a situation like this. Not a bad one, (no, it _certainly_ wasn't a bad one) but a situation in which I got the opportunity to stare up at perfection. A modern _Adonis_. (Sasuke could be his little brother, if he had one. I honestly know nothing about Greek mythology as you can clearly see.)

The point was, he was _amazing_. What guy couldn't be? If I had hair like that, (why _don't_ I have shiny, silky hair like that?!) or deep, rich eyes like that, (oh god, were they _smoldering_?) or a discreetly seductive face like that (Not so discreet if I notice it is, huh?) then _I_ would be amazing to. Not even to mention that enigmatic aura that surrounded him...

(Will not fangirl. Will not fangirl. Will not fangirl. Will not fangirl. Will not fangirl. Will not— )

"Uchiha Itachi."

I stared down at his hand in disbelief. Perhaps in my fangirl moment, I had rendered myself delirious. Therefore, my hearing had gone haywire. Because there is now way in hell that that man who looked so much like Sasuke could _actually_ be related to him. There was no way that he was actually his sibling. There was just no way...

When he cleared his throat, I could tell that he was growing impatient. God, I just ruined my chances with him! He would think that I was some spastic, retarded—

"Leave it to Little Brother to hire foreign help…" he muttered, and I could have sworn that time just stopped. I was too busy focusing on how his lips moved the way they did, or why his voice sounded so smexy, or why his eye were so deep and I could drown in them...

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Oh my god. Sasuke was behind me, with his (muscular, strong, man) arm above mine while he held the door open. I could hear his voice vibrate in his chest as he spoke those words, and I have to say, it was much better hearing the words before they came out of his mouth.

I had to be the luckiest girl in the world. What other girl would be able to say that they were the meat in the middle of an Uchiha smexy sandwich? Not many...

The older (yes, I knew he was older. He did say _Little Brother_.) Uchiha smirked upon seeing Sasuke. (And what a heavenly sight that was…)

"Little Brother— "

"Don't call me that."

Smirk. _Ah_…

"— I'm glad to see you're in good health." He _seemed_ earnest enough, though I could sense some animosity. I suppose that the threesome is now out of the question, then. Damn.

"I'm disappointed that _you're_ in good health, Itachi," Sasuke replied. I titled my head backwards to see him, and the smirk was just a smexy upside down. He glanced down at me with those lovable eyes of his, (yes, I blushed _plenty_) furrowing his eyebrows.

"Why are you still here, Haruno?" It was amazing how his glare was still intense from upside down.

"I, uh— " With my head in a comfortable position once more, I turned my back to Uchiha2, (yes, _Itachi_, I think his name was, came second. Sasuke is still number— wait, what? I don't remember being this man-crazy. Perhaps overexposure to Uchihas do that to you…) and turned to face Sasuke, who apparently was still holding the baby. "I actually don't know. It was just in the heat of the moment, I guess."

"Hea— "

Itachi interrupted Sasuke with that smexy voice of his. (I am _so_ abusing that word.) "I was wrong, Little Brother." I didn't bother to look back at Itachi. I was too absorbed in watching the way Sasuke cringed slightly at the nickname. "She isn't the hired help I assumed she was. You're new lady friend, I assume? I'm impressed."

"That's _not_ what she is," he hissed, though the reddening of his cheeks was priceless. (He was _totally_ into me. I knew it. If luck was on my side, then a _gross_ overpayment would accompany his affection.) "Who the hell are you to come to my house and question me anyway? It doesn't _matter_ what she is to me."

We all knew that I was nothing to him. Yet. Sadly, our love would never be. I was looking for the moolah, the cash, the green stuff and all that other nonsense that meant money. _But_, if he didn't mind becoming my beau… God dammit! He still had Karin. (Barely.)

What was wrong with me? I thought I wasn't looking for love…

Sigh.

"You're rather defensive, I see."

Sasuke growled. "Haruno, take her." He shoved the baby in my arms, who giggled upon being transferred.

"And do what? I was just about to get the dishwasher going— "

He sighed and looked me dead in the eye. _Boy_, did he look grim. "Do baby stuff. Now _go_. My brother and I have things to discuss." He glared past me. (Poor Itachi. Sasuke was going to kill him with his eyes!)

I huffed at his rudeness. "_Alright_, Pushy. Geez." I walked past him, giving him glares over my shoulder. The nerve of some _guys_, I mean really! Epitome of all things manly he may be, but that gave him no right to act as though he was better that me. Me, a _woman_. Because women are naturally better than men.

Right…

Anyway.

Wait.

Whatever happened to Satsuki?

Crap.

I found the stairs quickly. I bolted up them, (being careful not to drop Mika, of course. Who was rather peaceful because of that pacifier.) because I didn't trust her at all. Sasuke's niece… she was just as evil as him! As Karin, and she was badder than _bad_.

When I reached the top of the stairs, I was greeted with an uncomfortably eerie silence. It was about four o clock, no way in hell that that little demo— _ahem_, angel child was still sleeping. Looking down at the white carpet, it was a bit comforting to know that here was no blood. (Do NOT underestimate that little girl!)

When I was now fully on the second floor, my scenes were fully heightened, because despite that cutesy appearance, Satsuki was not sociable at all. Suddenly, I heard a muffled noise from my right. The same as if someone were to be… gagged.

Yeah…

There was no time to waste.

Stealthily I walked in direction of the noise. I made sure to keep my right hand on the smooth, cool wood of the banister also, because if my predictions were correct, she may just try to push me over the edge of the banister. Thus, (of course) ending my life.

I entered the room in which the noise was coming from, and the instant I did, I wished I hadn't.

There was a blonde (guess _who_?) tied to the bed. His wrists were bound to the headrest, while his ankles were tied around the wooden poles at the end of the bed. And, as I had predicted, he was _gagged_.

Satsuki was kneeling beside the struggling male, smearing what looked like petroleum jelly onto his face. She was giggling as she did it, rubbing the gelatinous stuff wherever she could.

Woah… _Naruto_ (a grown man) got bound and gagged by _Satsuki_ (a puny little demon— kidding!— child)!

I couldn't hold in my snickering at the scene. How had he managed to get in that situation? Did she over power him? Because if she had…

I giggled.

Then snickered.

And before I knew it, I was laughing.

He got owned by a little _girl_!

By this time, Satsuki had stood from the bed, glaring daggers at me. Her blue eyes flickered, before she hopped off and walked toward me, the intent to kill in her eyes. She stopped directly in front of me, and muttered two words that were a bit too intimidating for the likes of a six year old girl.

"Bad lady is going _down_," she hissed, before rubbing her petroleum jelly-ey hands on my green tee. It left unsightly shiny streak on my shirt.

Me? Bad lady? How was it possible that she liked Karin more than me? I mean, I was _likeable_ enough!

Only then did I realize that very easily, that could have been _me_. And I'm sure that if I was available at the time Naruto was, that I'd be bound and gagged and smothered in thick and gooey petroleum jelly. Like, _yuck_.

I went further into the room, and I had no idea that she had gotten the stuff _all over _the room. I felt it (slippery and yucky) underneath my feet on the carpet. I sat on the edge of the bed beside Naruto, setting a silent Mika-chan (ah, I just loved that nickname, but that was beyond the point) on my lap care fully.

Snicker.

"You pathetic _weakling_," I hissed quietly, before removing the slippery and saliva-ey gag. He huffed after I removed the wrinkled handkerchief from his mouth. He scowled at me.

"Weakling?! You underestimate her!" he wailed, attempting to pull his wrists free.

"You'll only give yourself rope burn, stupid. She's tied you pretty tight." And that, I must say, was pretty damn amazing. (Perhaps when she was younger, Satsuki had been fed the Ultra!BabyFormula too?) Reaching forward (still flabbergasted by her super strength) I undid the binds on his wrists (with much hassle, might I add.)

When he was free, he sat forward, rubbing his red wrists. A few minutes after that, he rubbed his hands on his face, most likely to remove the globs of petro-jelly from his face. Really, it was a sight to see: his shiny face was positively _blinding_. And the more he tired to remove, the more he got on his face.

I snickered.

Snicker. Snicker. Snicker.

Laugh.

Giggle.

Stare.

Glare.

"What?" I asked, smiling nonchalantly. Because this situation _was_ nonchalant. It was funny, dammit!

"Yeah, and it's _so_ funny." He quickly untied his ankles as well, before looking back up at me and glaring. Yeah, I could sense the animosity. "Ugh, why don't you make yourself useful and clean this mess up?"

At that, I frowned, because I knew that that was what I was going to end up doing anyhow. He saw my minor deflation, at which he smiled. "Yeah, _clean_ it up. Good luck." Satisfied with himself, (obviously) he left the room (most likely to wash off what looked like a pound of _wasted _p-jelly—ah, the nicknames)

Holding Mika closer to my chest, I had to take a pause and thoroughly examine the mess I was up against. The stuff was on the walls, on the comforter, on the bed, one the dresser, _EVERYWHERE_!

How could I have not seen it before?!

How does one clean petroleum jelly anyhow?!

Thinking back on it, the first mess I had to clean was _Satsuki's_! Ooo, she so has it out for me. Trying to make my job a living hell… I mean, of course I was supposed to be cleaning _some_ things up, but this was just beyond bizarre… Puke and petroleum jelly?!

Perhaps I made a terrible mistake when I agreed to become Uchiha Sasuke's maid…

* * *

**_To Be Continued_**

* * *

Authoress' Note: Yeah, once again, this chapter failed to accomplish much. Minor ItaSaku, OC(Satsuki)Saku and NaruSaku character development, (platonic!) but nothing other than that.

((Total abuse of the word petroleum jelly.))

-sigh-

I'm glad that I'm finally getting to the _good_ stuff, though. The next chapter will be out today, tomorrow, or next tomorrow, it all depends on whether I decide to get my fingers going.

Oh, and it will contain _major _SasuSaku. (Not romantic, but it's _something_.)

P. S. It was terribly short… sorry my peeps! Okay, next chapter will be much, much, mucho, mucho, longer! I am so sorry about the length, it's just that if I kept writing, it'd be rambling on about nothing. And I only say this because I'm nervous someone will get fed up with my bulls--t and flame me. :( They hurt.

P. S. S. Wasn't **ObsidianSickle** supposed to update her fic _Blind_ today?!

-screams-


	6. Chapter 06: Daddy Training

Authoress' Note: I'm sure that by know, you all know how disappointed I am of myself. Well, hopefully this chapter will change that.

(((Best read at ¾ screen width.)))

Disclaimer: I only own this story. I don't own the series Naruto. I also own a pair of gorgeous black and silver flats. :3

& the story picks up… NOW!  
& the fact that Sasuke is slightly OOC kills me. I'll get over it.  
& I think the length is kinda satisfactory… Dunno.  
& a spoiler: New characters appearances in chapter 07! But, let's focus on chapter 06. Kay?  
& I love you guys for reviewing. You ALL rock.

* * *

****

Attaining The Impossible

Chapter 06: Daddy Training

I had talked to Sasuke's older brother a bit before he left. As it just so happened, the little devil turned out to be Itachi's daughter. He had been out of town for the week, and left her with Sasuke. Which, I must say, was a nightmare.

But, luckily for me, that was two weeks ago. Meaning that she was no longer here. It had been a bit more peaceful without her, though. Mikazuki still cried, (a lot more than normal, in fact) Karin was still _never around _(though I wasn't complaining) and Sasuke was in and out of the house (we talked a little in between that time, sharing tidbits of information while I cleaned and he ate the breakfast that _I_ prepared. Like, CHA!)

Things were pretty normal, as far as normal went. Because, well, I don't know many people with a room covered in petroleum jelly. Yes, the stuff was _still_ there! I was going to clean it, then I got angry that I had to clean it in the _first place_, then I closed the door and made Naruto swear not to say a word. (With threatening)

Geez… I was _lazy_.

Hopefully, Sasuke wouldn't enter that particular guest room. He had other rooms in the house, so I would think that that would be the least of his concern. After all, if he hadn't discovered it in two weeks, he wouldn't discover it now. (I would make _damn _sure of that.)

"Why are you always in here?"

I didn't bother looking back at him. "Because one of the many roles I play is the babysitter role, so I have the right to be affiliated with your child. Ergo, I have the right to be in the _nursery_," I replied casually. I leaned further over the edge of the wooden crib, giving Mika better access to the finger in which she found an odd interest in. (Why did she love my fingers…?)

"Not all the time," he replied simply. I heard his footsteps as he neared. (Why my heart skipped a beat, I have yet to figure out. Wink. Wink.)

He stopped beside me, before placing his hands on the cribs ligneous edge. I spared him a slight side glance, because that seemed like the perfect time to ogle… except, he his black eyes found mine. My stomach did this odd flippy thingy, and my palms started sweating all of a sudden.

(Calm down! He's just a gorgeous perfect sex god whom you have to try hard not to embarrass yourself in front of. Easy enough.

Right?  
_Right_?  
_**Right**_?

Wrong…)

Glancing back down at Mika, I tried hard to disregard the moment. Yes, _tried_, because I could still _feel_ his gaze lingering for a couple of seconds.

I stiffened when he asked, "What is it with you?" His voice was so _soothing_ to the ear that it made one want to shiver pleasantly. (I had it _bad_ for him. I _never_ thought like that.) "Why don't you ever look me in the eye?"

"I… I do _so _look you in the eye! A lot actually! 'Cause they're… " I hadn't had a chance to think before I replied impulsively. (I managed to stop in time, though!) Thinking about it, was he right? Had I ever looked him in the eye? Not when his full focus was on me, but still… Things like that didn't cross my mind…

"Hn." That was his short response, which, when translated into English (which he should learn to speak) meant that the conversation was over. Thank _god_. "Your face is red, by the way."

This caused Mika to break into a giggle. What a sadist. Finding amusement at my embarrassment, thanks a lot! I _thought_ she was on my side. Apprently not.

Humph.

Anyways, him saying that did surprise me, though. See, Sasuke and I had an odd employee-employer relationship. There was no doubt that he was a _tad_ bit interested (I'm being _modest_, leave me alone!) but he did have a strange way of showing it. Instead of hitting on me like a regular guy, (notthatyoushouldhitonemployees!) he'd make remarks like that, or offer snide comments, or make discreetly perverted observations.

Ew…

(I'm_not_complaining!)

But still… he was so _sweet_! His compliments came in strange ways, but they still came. And I suppose that it was the thought that counted.

(God… was it odd to be so head over heels after only half a month?!… Hell yeah! Especially when the guy you were falling for was UCHIHA- freakin' -SASUKE!)

"Uh, yeah. Fine. Whatever. Hey, I've always wondered: how old is she?" Subject change: perfect.

He shrugged, before supplying, "About a year and a half."

My eyes widened, "_WHAT_?!"

"Sasuke-kun!" He was unable to answer when Karin stormed into the room with that boisterous voice of hers. Sasuke unenthusiastically turned to face her.

Dare I look her up and down…? Yes. She wore a horizontally stripped lime green and pink tee, as well as a short matching green miniskirt, and green and pink athletic shoes. (Which I had to admit were pretty damn _gorgeous_!) What I didn't understand about her ensemble was why she had a tennis racket in hand…

Was she going to attempt to beat me to death, perhaps?

"Sasuke-_kun_, _darling_," she whined, "Ami and I are going out to play tennis. I need the credit card, _babe_. You know, the pretty gold one with all the cute silver numbers." She smiled widely, throwing her hands behind her back.

As Sasuke was reaching into his back pocket, I regarded Karin. "And why exactly do you need a credit card to play _tennis_?" I asked slowly, just in case her mind was unable to process words spoken at a regular speed.

"Because, _SheWhoPossessesWideForhead_," (Oh, a joke. Ha, _ha_.) she looked at me dully, tilting her head and rolling her overgrown eyes, "Who in their right mind leaves home without one? We might have to do some emergency shopping, a _doi_!" Giggling to herself, she shook her head as if it were common knowledge.

By this time, Sasuke had successfully extracted his wallet, and handed her said credit card. "Thank you _so_ much Sasuke-kun! You're such a sweet heart!" Standing on her toes, she gave him a kiss on the cheek, at which he was impassive. (YES! HE'LL LIKE MY KISSES BETTE— wait, uh, that's not what I mean… I think…) "And Sasuke-kun, you really shouldn't spend so much time with the help. You'll be _infected _with the poor. And you know how much I love your mo— I mean you! Yes, you! I love you! Not that other thing that I was gonna say..." She spared me a dirty glance, before leaving Sasuke and I alone once more.

Poor wasn't a disease! UGH! The _nerve_ of that airhead!

Really, what did he _see_ in her?! If I was a guy, I certainly wouldn't shoot for a girl like _her_. The only thing she was good for was bitching and gold digging. Yes, Karin was a _major_ gold digger. And for what? I thought she was this high class super model or something.

ugh  
_ugh  
**ugh**_

CHA!

My brain hurt.

I decided not to question him about it, because frankly, his personal life was really none of my business. All I was supposed to do was work, get paid, (oh yes, the pay was certainly _nice_) and work s'more. Simple.

Right. Back to the matter at hand, "She's how old again?!"

He eyed me impassively, probably wondering why the 'f' I was yelling at him like a mad woman. "A year and a half," he replied smoothly, and I could hear the slight growl of annoyance in his voice.

"Oh god… and I was stupid enough to feed her formula! She's too old for that stuff, Sasuke!" I yelled exasperatedly. Correct, I had called him by his first name, but he deserved no respect! I peered down at her, and with my two eyes, I saw her six, tiny teeth. (Three on the top, three on the bottom.) What a mistake. How could I not have noticed before?!

I looked back up at Sasuke. "You're an idiot!"

"What?" His look was more thoughtful and confused, rather than the angered expression I had expected.

"She's supposed to be eating purées by now! No wonder she stared at you like that when you ate. I told you she wasn't _retarded_!" Yes, he had voiced that. "Business genius you may be, but you're an idiot as a parent! You're so caught up with your work that you don't even pay attention to her. Your own _child_!" I shook my head disappointedly. "Look at her, aren't you disappointed in yourself?"

He did. (But not before glaring at me, of course.) He scowled after a while. "And what, Haruno, is your point?"

"She's supposed to say 'Dada'!" I wailed, flailing my arms wildly. "She's always supposed to say 'Dada' or 'Papa' when she sees you! But she can't, because she _hardly_ knows who you are! I don't blame her! You may as well be a stranger you her!"

"Have you ever considered that maybe she can't talk yet?"

"Uh—!"

Oh… right.

I forgot about that. And here I was trying to prove that he was a terrible parent. I hadn't even considered the fact that—

"_Mama_."

I blanched.

…

…

…

What… what had she just said? To **me** of all people?

Stunned, I glanced over at Sasuke, who was watching said child with amusement, "It seems as though I as wrong. She _can_ talk."

"This isn't funny!" I placed both hands under her armpits, lifting her out of the crib and in front of me. "I'm not your _Mama_. You didn't come out of _me_."

Sasuke let out a snicker. (I didn't even _know_ he had a laughing box!)

I glared. "You are _so_ immature!" My eyes softened (screw that! I was worried as hell! I wasn't her mother!) as I looked back into her twinkling ultramarine eyes, she blinked. Then she drooled. Then she giggled again and said, "Mama!", though it was much more enthusiastic.

"It seems as though you've been around too much," Sasuke supplied coolly, watching the scene amusedly.

"You know what, this isn't about me! I'll deal with her _later_!" I lowered her into a comfortable position, and for the first time in a _long_ time, I looked him dead in the eye. His expression was once again indifferent, and it reminded me of why I didn't look him in the eye in the first place.

Because those smoldering, seductive eyes of his were so… intimidating! They always turn me into _mush_.

"_This_," I paused, regaining my (poor) composure. "Is about you, _Uchiha_-_sama_."

Sighing, he glanced out of the room in a bored manner, running his hand through his thick, dark navy hair. (If only I could record that moment!) "And why is this about me?" He met my eyes again (God, I'm going to _melt_!) Smirk. "_Hm_?"

"B-because…" Pause. Think of a plan of action. "I need to teach you how to be a better father!"

.……………………………….………………………………xox……………………………….……………………………….

"Isn't this just relaxing, _Uchiha_-_sama_?" The question was in fact supposed to annoy him, but he only grunted in response. I spared him a glance through my dark shades (because if you don't own a pair of sunglasses, _get some_!) and saw that his head was still faced toward the road ahead.

Despite my bantering, it truly was _calming_. Me, being the smart person I was, decided that Mika was cooped up in his house for far too long. So, I strapped her into her stroller (the purple one with pink flowers that she seemed to favor), and decided a walk would do her (and me) some good.

I had forced Sasuke to come along (somehow). And, _wow_, he looked absolutely delicious in those dark jeans of his. Paired with a dark black shirt (although it was scorching hot! I warned him about the black, but he didn't listen… He was uncomfortable under the sun, though he masked it well. _Really_ well.).

"Not really," he muttered sullenly. He gave me this feeling… I dunno. Like he didn't want to be out of his air-conditioned house, maybe?

"It is, actually. But even if you aren't, Mika-chan certainly is relaxed. And this little walk is for her, so maybe you should stop grouching and enjoy this quality time with your only child."

(That, my friends, was a discreet command.)

Absentmindedly, I pulled that little sunroof-ey type thing on Mika stroller over her head so that the sun didn't burn her precious little skin to a crisp. Because, well, that would be quite the tragedy!

The man on my side tilted his head to the side, and I saw him stare at me through _his _sunglasses. (Meltmeltmelt.)

It's a simple equation, really:

Uchiha Sasuke + sunglasses equals perfection to the EXTREME.

"Mind telling me where we're going?" Surprisingly, he was no longer as annoyed as he previously was. When I only continued staring at his smexyness, he raised an eyebrow.

Blush. Blush. "Oh!" Pushing the stroller forward, I examined the street ahead. "Um, I'm not really too familiar with this place, but if we continue ahead, I'm sure there'll be a supermarket ahead. Because _someone _decided not to be a good father."

"God dammit…" he muttered under his breath, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Will you just drop this shit about me being a bad parent?"

My jaw dropped. "Oh my— Sasuke!" I slapped his shoulder roughly. "You can't curse in front of Mika-chan! You're setting horrible examples, as if Karin weren't already bad enough! You'll scar her for life!"

He sighed. "You're acting as if you were her mother. Calm down." Ugh, then he scoffed at me!

"I basically am her mother! I _fed_ her, I _clothe_ her, I _bathe_ her, I _watch_ after her, I put her to _sleep..._ Doesn't that sound like things a mother would do?!" Huffing, I frowned when he rolled his eyes again. I might as well have been her mother, seeing as how Karin was never around. I didn't even _know_ if Karin was the mother.

Smexy, yes. Discourteous, definitely.

No guy was perfect after all…

"Yeah," he replied evenly. "It also sounds like things a nanny would do. Whis is what you _are_. Which is what you get _paid_ for."

I narrowed my eyes, even though I knew what he had said was actually quite true. "You know what? Let's just forget about it. There's a store up ahead."

"Hn. Whatever."

Uchiha Sasuke was an ass.

.……………………………….………………………………xox……………………………….……………………………….

Shopping was rather uneventful. Mika was indecisive (sigh) as to which puree flavor she wanted, so I just took a bunch. Sasuke was no where to be _seen_, until I wandered the entire grocery store, where I found him at the produce department practically _glaring_ at innocent tomatoes.

(I don't know why though, I thought they were his favorite food.)

We were in there for a whole freakin' hour because he couldn't decide which tomatoes he wanted. (They were all the freakin' same!)

Eventually though, we did leave. (With plenty of baby food, pristine tomatoes, and an empty wallet. (Sasuke's wallet, of course.) I wasn't paying for a _damn_ thing. Money was _way_ too hard to earn.)

And now, we were here. Back at his house. I was on my knees, holding a wobbly Mika straight, while Sasuke sat unenthusiastically across from us. (Don't ask how, just enjoy. Because forcing Uchiha Sasuke to do something he didn't want to was hard work.)

"Now, Uchiha-sama—" Saying that got _easier_ and _easier_ everyday. "This is lesson number two—seeing as how you completely _bombed_ number one: shopping for your daughter – I did basically everything, _you_ only shopped for tomatoes – —playing with your child."

"_Playing_?" He asked incredulously, rolling his eyes. "I don't have to."

"Yeah, you do!"

He averted his eyes. "I could just fire you, you know."

"Think about it. You chose me out of plentyof possible nanny slash housekeepers, so you _can't_ fire me, because there's no one as good as me out there." I raised my eyebrow, waiting for his retort, but her merely sighed and folded his legs.

Pwned.

"Okay, now, I need you to call her."

"By saying what?"

It was my turn to roll my eyes. "Say come to daddy. And, if you're lucky, and if she hasn't abandoned your love _completely—_" I glared. "—then maybe she'll come. Maybe."

"No."

He was so freakin' stubborn. It was his daughter, and he couldn't even say 'Come to Daddy.' Honestly! Why did he even _have_ a kid? He didn't seem to like her that much… The bastard.

"You know what? I don't have time to argue with you." Setting her down on her bottom, I quickly crawled toward Sasuke, who had a look on his face that said, 'Think carefully. I have the urge to kill.' Yeah, _right_…

He watched me I crawled behind him, and I merely stuck my tongue out, because really, I wasn't doing it for _him_. Stopping at his back, I rested my chin on his right shoulder. He tensed, "Haruno, get away from me."

"It's for the sake of your daughter, now be quiet already."

I should have taken his advice. Being that close to him can really do a number on a girl. He had this smell that was just simply _intoxicating_… and… and… I was _so_ in love with him…

(Not. Not. I was in _like_ with him.)

"You're breathing on my ear."

"Hm?"

"I said you're breathing on my ear."

"Uh, oh, right, sorry." Blushing, I backed up a bit, but my chin was still on his shoulder. And— OMIGOD! He was blushing! The back of his neck had turned red! He has emotions _yet_!

But that was beyond the point.

(He blushed! YES!)

Okay, it was out of my system.

Clearing my throat, I said lowly, "Come to daddy."

Sasuke emitted a hushed snicker, at which I frowned. It wasn't funny! "Harty har har. What on Earth is so funny?"

"Have I been sounding like that?"

"Like a pathetic excuse for a man?"

"No," he said dryly, "Like a drag queen."

"You really suck, Sasuke! Really, you suck a whole bunch! You suck worse than poo!" I screamed, not actually noticing how childish I sounded. Sasuke turned around, seemingly only to smirk at me, and the fact that I had been… pwned.

"When you're done," he began 'coolly' (yeah right.) "I think you'll be happy to know that she's walking on her own."

I looked over his shoulder, to see that she was walking unsteadily. It lasted for a second or two, before she plopped down on her bottom beside the table. (Which I totally know was a stupid idea in the first place! She could have split her skull in two…)

Disregarding Sasuke, I crawled beside him and toward Mika who was just about to gnaw on the edge glass table. "Silly girl," I mumbled, puling her away. "Humans don't eat that which can break their teeth." (A motto to live by, really.) Smiling, I helped her to stand again. "And congrats on your first steps, shorty."

By this time, Sasuke was no longer on the floor, but standing beside us. He had this goofy looking smirk on his face, like he wanted to smile but his pride wouldn't let him. I only watched him from the corner of my eye as my insides slowly began to turn to mush. (Purée, anyone?)

His pocket rang unexpectedly, (it was more like a vibrating sort of noise, really) catching both me and Mika off guard. We both looked towards him inquisitively. "That's pretty kinky stuff, _Uchiha-sama_." (Uchiha Sasuke with a vibrater...)

((Question: How would a man utilize a vibrator anyway?))

As he extracted his black (_expensive-looking!_) cell phone, the smirk quickly fell at my comment, and was replaced by a poker face and a grunt. (Oh, how I miss that smexilicious smirk…) "What do you want?"

Good thing _I_ hadn't called him. There would have been _so_ many curse words in that phone call…

His face twisted into something that looked rather remorseful. (He talked to the _wrong_ person the _wrong_ way. Sucks for him. "Ah—" he grumbled and itched his hair with his free hand. "Hn. Fine. Yes. I'll be ready. I… uh… _Iloveyoutoo_."

Oh my god. Now I do wish I had called him. How _dare_ he say he love Karin? He loved me! (I mean… no. Just… no.)

"I… uh, heard you Uchiha-sama," I commented slyly, smiling. "'I love you too.' Priceless, really. "

He visibly tensed. "Shut up. This is serious. Something bad could happen…"

With the grimness in his voice, and the look in his eyes, I knew it was true.

* * *

_**To Be Continued**_

* * *

Authoress' Note: Not much training, but it continues in the next chapter. OOC Sasuke, yes, but I warned you. :)

What bad thing is happening? Will Sasuke tell Sakura? Will Sasuke ever find the room submerged in petroleum jelly? Will Mika finally get a chance to taste the table? Will I stop asking questions and just update already?

Stay tuned to find out!

* * *

Important Note: I know I'm going to lose a bunch of my readers for this (most likely) there will be some ShikaIno and NaruHina in later chapters. X3 Please don't hate me! The plot started to unravel itself and then they got shoved in there because they are needed! I know a lot of you are fine with NaruHina, but the ShikaIno and ShikaTema fans are firm believers! Even if I liked ShikaTema, (which I don't, sorry) there would be no way to get them in here.

-sigh-

I just feel terrible that I didn't tell you earlier… Sorry. I should have warned you. :( Forgive me ShikaTema lovers? You don't have to read this story anymore if you don't like that fact, but it would be a shame.

& you will forgive me now for the future ShikaIno and NaruHina, yes?  
& just a thought, but maybe you can overlook it? When it comes, that is.  
& you should be grateful that I told you ahead of time.

* * *

Review now, kiddos!

& remember:

_Humans don't eat  
That which can break thier teeth!_


	7. Chapter 07: The Bell Marks Death

Authoress' Note: I'm back. Sorta. Sorry for the lame A/N.

P.S. Maybe a bit of OOCness. I haven't written any Sasuke in a while. And beware: I think I went a bit too wacko with the commas. My writing, of course, has suffered.

(((Story best read at ¾ screen width.)))

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. So suck on _that_. Haha.

* * *

I was

1. animefancutie11  
2. Snow Goddess Yuka-chan  
3. Yukina Yukimura  
4. Ayaka Aoki  
5. Ayaka Aoki-Hime no Hiatus

I will be

La Bella Nova

Take note, dear.

* * *

**Attaining The Impossible**

Chapter 07: The Bell Marks Death

_Dedicated to Everyone, All Faithful Readers_

"You know, you're like the queen of awkward situations."

A confused stare.

(By the look on his face, the statement was rather random, I supposed. But it sounded fine in my book.)

Then narrowed eyes.

"_What_?"

Silence.

"Yeah, you totally are, Uchiha-sama."

"Shut the hell up."

"_Language_, Uchiha-sama. _Language_. Shall I wash that _nasty_ mouth of yours out with antibacterial soap?"

Eye roll. "Senseless."

Under my breath, "What a girl…"

"I'm a man. Men are not queens, but in your situation, Haruno…"

"Funny, Uchiha-sama. Real funny. And you and I both know that that _so_ has **not** been proven yet."

"You're not going to win this argument, stupid."

"It's a heated discussion, _stupid_."

"Don't mock me."

"_Stupid_."

"Your comebacks are almost as horrible as the size of your chest."

And just as I was about to retort with something so awesome that would shut him up for like, a bazillion bajillion babillion years, Mika (who was showing her more traiterous sides lately) flung a miniature fist full of puréed peas in my face. After which, she proceeded to giggle maniacally at my expense.

Which only went to show how much she despised puréed peas.

Closing my eye to prevent the disgusting health food from entering my eye, I glared at Sasuke. Who, it seemed, was having a _great_ time at my expense.

Glare glare.

Smirk. Wide, beautiful, _devilish_ smirk.

Augh, screw him! It wasn't that Mika-chan liked him more, it was just that she had genes on his side… or something.

Screw it _all_.

"Shut up!" I growled at Sasuke, and some of the mush (which was putrid) found its way into my mouth. ((shiver shiver)) Pushing him aside, I reached over the kitchen counter, grabbed a towel and scraped the stuff off my face.

"I don't see why you're laughing, asshole." (I could have sworn I heard a chuckle.) "_You're_ the girl's father, and _you_ should be feeding her. Not the babysitter…"

Crossing arms over his chest, he snorted condescendingly. "Stop worrying about the title. Do what I tell you and be happy you're still here, girl."

"F you, mister," I stuck my tongue out and him, and prayed that he drowned in his own smugness—because I certainly was.

Sadly, I heard his phone vibrate before he could be slaughtered by his disposition.

Apparently irritated, (apparently ignoring my comment—damn it all!) he reached into his pocket and again extracted that shiny black cell phone that made him look mighty conceited conceited conceited. He flipped it open and held it against his ear, whilst absentmindedly rubbing his other ear with his free hand. I watched him for a second, because it wasn't everyday that I could observe _Uchiha-sama _when he was natural.

He was simply leaning against the counter, talking on his cell phone with an irresistible stance that actually made me take him half way seriously. During my session of shameless ogling, his eyes shifted my way suddenly. I gasped sharply, while I'm sure my cheeks became an unbelievable shade of red. I shoved a tiny spoon full of mush on Mika's face by accident, to which she responded by frowning.

Sasuke smirked, but continued his conversation on the phone.

I rolled my eyes and gently removed the baby 'food' from Mika's face with the same cloth I used to clean mine. I heard Sasuke's phone snap close, and turned my head to get the news, even though, really, it was none of my business.

"So…" I began, raising my eyebrows in a hope he would get the clue.

"What?"

He didn't.

"Go wear something nice," he commanded suddenly, heading toward the exit of the kitchen. Hands in his pockets casually, he continued, "You look homeless, Haruno."

My mouth dropped in absolute awe and offense. "Well, I—" I glanced down at my clothes: a white t-shirts and a pair of three year old black shorts that ended just above the knee. "—well, you don't have to be so mean! They're… They're comfortable and I never thought you noticed! I mean, it's not like anyone important sees me anyway!"

He stood there for a moment, completely silent.

"Hn… I suppose it doesn't matter what you wear one way or another. I've seen it all—uncovered. No matter what you wear, you always seem to leave nothing to the imagination." Sasuke looked over his shoulder, and looked me straight in the eye. "Isn't that right?"

"Augh—!" As I attempted to retort, my words got jumbled in my throat. My cheeks were on fire, and that flame in his eyes had me completely frozen. Balling my fists, I did what I did best: yelled. "I bet you're not so hot yourself when you're naked! Don't be so quick to criticize!"

"Have you actually seen me naked?"

"I... uh—!" Pause. Frown. Realization. "No. No, I haven't."

"Didn't think so. Now go get ready, and stop wasting my time before you're fired."

Then he was gone.

I watched him walk away, and could basically see the smirk on his face.

Ugh.

I think I hate him even more than before. (But not really, anyways. The hatred was already too deep.)

Rolling my eyes, I removed Mika from her high-chair and carried her off for her bath.

I think she was the _only_ female that Sasuke actually liked.

*~.……………………………….………………………………xox……………………………….……………………………….~*

Taking a second to actually _think_ about my outfit—I wore a black flare skirt paired with a short-sleeved white blouse Simple. Just… very simple. Like, so very simple—I wasn't sure exactly why I was wearing it. With him, or in other words, boss man he just gave orders and I was expected to take them obediently and without complaint. Which was just a tad unfair, but like a loyal worker, I supposed that I would go along with it.

I spun on my heels to look at Mika, who was currently attempting to jam her bright pink rattle into her smaller, slobbery mouth. She sat in the middle of my bed while endeavoring to accomplish said task, but to no avail. Frustrated, she proceeded to slam the thing mercilessly on my bedsheets.

Poor rattle.

Poor, poor slobbery sheets.

"How do I look?" I asked her, and it was a rhetorical question considering the person I was asking, really.

She babbled a few incoherent 'babbles,' I guess, before rolling onto her back unceremoniously.

Smiling quickly at the _very_ obvious yes, I walked lightly over to her and picked her up in my arms. She smelled like baby powder, and her skin was all soft and and damp and wonderful and smooth like. She was half naked, I guess, considering that she was only wearing a really plush diaper. Or perhaps she was half-dressed. Did diapers count as clothing at all?

…

…

…

Huh…

I headed to the nursery to find her sufficient clothing. As in, _not_ a diaper. But then, just as I was about to turn a corner, I ran into Sasuke. (Who, even as I fell backwards, looked pretty good in black slacks and a white dress shirt.) Almost instantly, I fell flat on my ass, and was also painfully aware that little Mika was no longer in my arms.

He had snatched her right out of my arms.

Sasuke was…

Amazing.

But still, I had to urge to shy away from Sasuke's glare, it was so painful. Truthfully, I was just about fed up with this nonsensical superiority complex. "It's not my fault, so get that 'scary' look off your face, boss. Damn, I'm so tired of you walking around this house trying to scare me! Do YOU own the place? No—! I mean yes! Yes, you do! But that doesn't give you the right to rule with an iron fist! There I was, just walking as if it were any other day and—**bam, boom, blast**!—you slam right into me like a ton—no—_two_ tons of bricks! If you ask me, _you_ should apologize to _me_! Yeah, that's what I think, if you really wanna know!"

And then I stopped.

(inhale)

(exhale)

(inhale)

(exhale)

(inhale)

(exhale)

Repeat process.

Await reply.

Sasuke merely just watched at I yelled at basically no one, because I doubt he took any of it to heart. Raising a slim eyebrow, (partly becuase of the crazy-ish hyperventilating) he assessed me with mild interest. It took him about a minute and a half to open his mouth with a simple: "What?"

"I—" (deep breaths!) What an unbelievably stupid man! "I said—!"

He interrupted, "Be careful, stupid."

And then, big, mean, 'scary', asshole Mr. Uchiha did the unthinkable.

He offered me a hand.

A freaking hand!

I sensed a breakthrough!

It was awe-inspiring. His lone hand, right in my face, extended… ready and willing to help me up. I was so lucky… so incredibly special. At least, I felt that way.

I fought to suppress my blush (which was way too school girl anyways. It was _just_ a hand, after all. Out of simple common politeness.) but I failed horribly. It was at that moment that I escaped my traitorous (silly, stupid, retarded, absolute discombobulated) thoughts, and take his hand. It was smooth and soft, (nothing like I had imagined) like Mika's skin, and had me thinking…

…Sasuke was sort of feminine.

I didn't know many males with soft hands an perfect skin, so… well, maybe that scented lotion he used had something to do with it…

One again escaping (rambunctious, rambunctious, rambunctious!) thoughts, I came to stand on my two feet. I patted invisible dust from my skirt, and met stern eyes. "Oh, um…" I cleared my throat awkwardly. "Th-Thanks, I guess…"

"…hn."

"So, mind telling me what we're doing? I didn't really go out of my way to 'dress up,' I guess, but that was only because I had no idea what the occasion was."

He looked me up and down. "You look fine."

"Oh," I smiled, "Thanks, but can you tell me _why_ I'm dress like this?"

He handed Mika over to me, who was oddly silent. "My— "

The doorbell interrupted him.

"Damn…"

The doorbell marked death, apparently.

Scratching his head, he turned his back and made his way to the front door. I followed right behind, with a half-naked Mika still in my arms. I hoped that this guest wasn't very impor—

The front door opened.

In came a rush of white, accompanied with, "Sasuke-chan, my cute little soldier! My wonderful, terrifically handsome first born! Mommy missed you so, so much!" A women (mommy-dearest!) though her arms around him, before bombarding his face with thousands of kisses.

Wow.

A once in a lifetime experience.

"Mother…" was all he could really manage to say, because it honestly looked as though she was suffocating him. No _wonder_ he thought death was approaching. Frowning, he tried to push him mother away.

"Sas— huh?" Crazy lady stopped strangling Sasuke for a moment only to turn my way with a rather quizzical look.

I froze. "Um, I'm…"

"Oh…!" She screamed happily, grinning from ear to ear. "I know who you are, young lady," she said in a slow, sly tone. She released Sasuke completely, and in her white skirt suit and sharp black stilettos, she looked almost as intimidated as Sasuke. (At least she would have, had it not been for that goofy looking smirk. There was just no way…)

"_You_ are Sasuke-chan's fiancée!" she screamed enthusiastically.

I almost believed her.

Almost.

ME?!

_Seriously?!_

Money!!

Haha.

If I married money— I mean, Sasuke, I'd be the happiest girl in the world, but of course, I'm not, so…

My eyes shot up to Sasuke, and he was impassive as ever. He lied to his parents about who he was going to marry, and all I got was a blank stare. Great…

"Yes, you are! Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Mikoto." She extended her hand, and I took it nervously while balancing Mika. "Nice to meet you."

"Nice—" but how was I supposed to continue when she interrupted me maniacally?

"My little grandchild, Zuki-chan…" Without hesitation, she took her from my hands and headed into Sasuke's living room.

Me… well, I was still very shocked. I stared down at the empty space in my hands. That used to be Mikazuki, but… a whirlwind of utter destruction, Sasuke's Mother, happened. In like, five seconds.

I squinted my eyes at Sasuke, and before I could release a— "You must be crazy telling your parents that I'm your fiancée when that _THING_ Karin is still here (well, not really, I haven't seen her in like two days) and you know it's not true!"— his dad walked through the front door.

Silence.

The man was big and burly, and gave off a stony aura. His face was appeared to be old and worn; nothing like his wife's. His eyes were intimidating, and they beat Sasuke's out hands down.

"Sasuke…" I had expected nothing less than a booming voice.

Son nodded.

Father nodded.

And then he proceeded to enter the family room, but not before sparing me an icy glance.

Woah… chilly.

They hardly even talked to each other! They just… acknowledged. If it wasn't for his mother, I honestly believed that they all be dead. I didn't exactly know how, but they would. They just… would.

"Sasuke!" I said in a hushed whisper. "You're so… so discombobulating! Why is your mother hyperactive?! Why didn't your father speak more than two words? Why did you lie to them an tell them that I was your fiancée?! Discombobulated!"

"Because I can." Spinning on his heels, he walked away from me. Again! (How many times would he did he do that in this chapter?!)* But then again, it was Sasuke, so what could I expect other than half-assed answers and him gobbling down precious freakin' tomatoes?

Not much.

I closed the front door.

And then the bell rang.

Sighing, I opened it (again, again, again!) only to find

"_Naruto_?"

Yeah, it was him. Thee (two e's!) Mr. Ramen himself.

Naruto was obviously perturbed by something. I supposed that it was the massive amount of purple and green luggage he was carrying, but I didn't think Sasuke's parents were going to stay for long.

"What are you doing here? With," I motioned at the bags in his hands, "_that_? You cannot move in. Sorry. I won't be cleaning up after you."

He glared back in response. "I'm not. She is." He flung his head backward, and that was when I got a glimpse of blonde.

"Sakura-chan! I _found you_! Finally!"

Oh god, why Ino _why_?!

* * *

**_To_ _Be Continued_**

* * *

Authoress' Note: Cliffhanger. Yes, very bad for being gone for months. I feel bad; I've ended a lot of these chapters with cliffhangers. Sorry bout that.

And sorry about the… I dunno, weirdness of this chapter. I noticed that I repeated a bunch of stupid things, like the pauses and line breaks. I'm telling ya, I'm losing my mojo! I also noticed some problem with the tense. I'm so ashamed…

But… at least I'm back? -hopeful-

*She broke the fourth wall. Yeah, I so went there.


	8. Chapter 08: Sexual Frustration

Authoress' Note: …such a long absence, ne? Well, let me give you the reality of the situation: I have NO idea where this plot is going. When I first decided to write this story, I had the plot all planned out. And now that I've started writing again, I've scrapped that plot, because I've decided that it's somewhat (VERY) stupid…

Well, to me at least.

So, for now, I'm just writing this story aimlessly, going wherever my fingers decide to take me. I'm sorry for being such a terrible authoress…

:/

Haha, so don't be too weirded out if this story turns out kinda CRACK!ish, okay? :D

P.S. Sasuke's only a little bit OOC?? But give me a break. He deserves not to be in character after seven chapters of assholeness. XD

Disclaimer: …loading

* * *

**Attaining The Impossible**

Chapter 08: I Blame Sexual Frustration

As I stood in the doorway staring incredulously at the two blonde **idiots**—one wailing madly about 'how much she missed me'; and the other asking 'whether or not his _ramen _was ready' (really, whatthehell?!)—I was left to wonder if I had somehow created this madness.

Twitch.

How the hell had Yamanaka Ino, of _all_ people, found me?

I rubbed my (oversided--_grr_) forehead agitatedly, whilst still trying to sort out the situation. "Ino, _dear_," I drawled a little too sweetly, "Whythe_hell_areyouhere?!"

The blonde girl looked taken aback, and Naruto merely tilted his head in confusion. "So… you're not happy to see me?"

"_No_! Of course I'm not! _You're_—"

"Who the hell are you?"

I never got to finish my sentence because Sasuke had appeared behind me, probably to inquire as to why I wasn't in the living room with him and his parents. My breath hitched. He was gonna think that I had attracted this odd (stupid, crazy, utterly _insane_) female to the house—which I _had_, technically—but I DID NOT want him to know that!

Ino's blue eyes darted from me to Sasuke. Mouth agape, most likely because she was mesmerized by his smexiness, she murmured dreamily, "I'm Yama—"

At which point, I decided that it was time to slam the door in her wasn't gonna mess this up for me!

My back against the white door, and my bang messily scattered across my eyes, I forced myself to flash Sasuke a pretty white smile. "Hey…Hehe, Sasuke-sama. How goes it?"

Sasuke squinted at me. Dangerously. "Who is that?" He pointed at the closed door.

"Oh!" I laughed nervously, ignoring the loud knocking and incessant nagging coming from the other side of the closed door. "That's Naruto, duh. He's _your_ friend, silly fish."

(_Really_? SILLY FISH?!

I seriously hated myself.)

He gave me an odd look, but nonetheless ignored the odd nickname. "I don't have the patience for this, Haruno. Who's the girl?" I stared into his eyes for a second (which looked cold, as always) trying to find any kind of emotion. If I was lucky and he was in a good mood, then maybe he wouldn't totally lash out on me.

But it was Sasuke… and Uchiha Sasuke harbored no emotions.

I sighed hopelessly. "She's… she's someone I know from back home. B-but I didn't invite her here, i-if that's what you're thinking! I think that she somehow knows Naruto, and Naruto told her about my whereabouts! I _hate _the fact that she's here—yeah she's my best friend and all—but she's _so_ annoyingly needy! She's like my Naruto!" (Hehe, my very own Naruto.) "Um, maybe if I could just hide her until your parents leave, I could figure out what to do with her later, right? _RIGHT_?!"

Taking a deep breath, I paused and awaited his reaction.

…

Sasuke seemed almost as exasperated as I did. "Just _fix_ it, Haruno. I don't want her—or Naruto, for that matter—intruding. Contain them."

'Contain them,' he said?

They weren't animals!

Well as far as Naruto went, it was questionably…but I was almost certain that Ino wasn't an animal.

"Argh—that's not fair!" I jabbed him roughly in the chest with my index finger. "Naruto's _your_ problem, not mine!"

The gorgeous asshole grabbed my hand. "…take care of _both_ of them," he bit it out almost sardonically.

I was going to open my mouth and ask why, but Sasuke would really be the last person to grace me with an answer.

Under my breath, "…_fine_."

Furrowing my eyebrows, I tried to yank my hand out of his grasp, but he held onto it tightly. "Here," he spoke suddenly, "Wear this." He fumbled around in his pants pocket for a moment, before removing his hand. In it, I was surprised to find—

—a _ring_!

[Le gasp.]

He smirked, most likely satisfied with my reaction. It was silver with a single, _pretty _diamond in the middle.

And it was _**shiny**_.

I watched intently as he slid the gorgeous piece of jewelry on my ring finger, where it fit perfectly.

"_Why_…?" I glanced up at his eyes. "Don't you think I'll lose it?! It looks expensive and-and— _Whyareyougivingthistome_, Uchiha-s—"

"Stop calling me that, first off," he began seriously, before releasing my hand. "I'm giving it to you because it helps the illusion…"

I deadpanned.

It was just a stupid 'engagement illusion' ring.

[-.-;]

"Well that explains it…Whatever."

Giving me one last, **stupid** smirk (wtf _were_ those things anyway?!) I watched Sasuke with squinted eyes as he left the vestibule. As soon as he did, I opened the front door discontentedly.

Ino was the first one to open her humongous mouth, "Ugh, Sakura, you complete and utter _bitch_, whaddya do that for?!"

"Ugh, shut _up_ Ino! Naruto, just get her bags and follow me. _Now_."

Ugh.

This entire day was just turning out _awesomely_.

(sarcasmsarcasm)

*~.……………………………….………………………………xox……………………………….……………………………….~*

I ended up stuffing Naruto and Ino into _my_ room, because I couldn't have them destroying any of the other guests' rooms. Seriously. Those two were like water and electricity mixing.

I hoped that the teen magazines as well as the old ramen that had I provided them with would keep them entertained for about an hour or two.

And if it didn't, then it wouldn't matter, because I had locked them in anyways. Hehe. (Perhaps they would escape through the window…)

But anyways.

I was currently seated in the living room with Sasuke and his parents. They both sat across from us—with his father's face seeming to be twisted into some sort of permanent scowl, (he was droning on about _something_) and with his wife seated right next to him. Mika-chan was on her lap at the moment, and Sasuke's mother was doing some hand gestures that caused the infant to burst into a fit of uncontrollable giggles.

I frowned; she never seemed that happy with _me_!

"…the date of the wedding?"

When I heard that, my ears immediately perked up and I stopped fidgeting with the expensive ring on my finger (whichIwasalreadycompletelyin**love**with), "Um," I began slowly and somewhat unsurely, "What wedding, sir?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sasuke's ear twitch.

(Hehe, but only a little.)

Mikoto interjected happily (a little _too_ happily, I might add), "_You're_ wedding, silly girl! Are you become delirious, future daughter-in-law?"

Oh!

Now I remembered.

I was supposed to be playing along with Sasuke's little 'fiancée façade.' (He still had yet to let me what this stupid LIE was about though…)

I stammered apprehensively, not really knowing how to respond to his father's question. "Err, I uh… You see, I-I'm not completely…" I paused, "What about Kar—"

That was the moment in which Sasuke completely _cutmeoff_, which would technically mean that he had just saved his _own_ ass. "We haven't decided yet," he glanced over at me, with the most sexilicious smirk on his face, "have we?"

"Uh…" I lost myself for a moment.

Stay COMPOSED, Sakura!

Ahem.

"Y-yes Uch—I-I mean _Sasuke_-_kun_…"

If it wasn't for me wanting to maintain the little dignity I had left, I would have completely nosebled right. Freakin'. _There_. I would've been lying to say that actually saying his name out loud had _no_ effect on me…

It was like…

…I don't know. I couldn't explain the feeling that I had. It was like bliss and butterflies all at once…

"Aw!" Mikoto's high-pitched wail broke me from my (embarrassing) reverie, "She's _blushing_! Now isn't that just adorable?! Ke-chan, I love this one already! She looks like a keeper!"

Fugaku looked absolutely mortified at her behavior. But he hid it extremely well. He simply sipped on his tea and spared his wife a wary side-glance. I assumed that he was used to things like this…after all, his wife seemed _eccentric, _to say the least.

I tugged at the hem of my skirt nervously, and could literally feel my cheeks heating up.

It's not real!  
It's _not_ real!  
It's _**not**_ real!

I kept trying to keep that thought in my mind, hoping to eventually believe it, but even so…

Fugaku broke the short silence, "Sakura… what do you do for a living?" It was a stern question, something akin to terrifying.

I cleared my throat awkwardly, praying to God that the blush had left my cheeks. "I'm actually still a student." I cleared my throat _again_, because frankly_, _I found all of this to be _extremely _awkward_._ "I'm studying to become a nurse…"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sasuke raise a curious eyebrow. Apparently, he didn't know that little tidbit of information either…not that he had even bothered to try and find out…

The (sexy) bastard.

"Smart _and_ sexy! Ke-chan **please** just marry her _now_!" Mikoto dumped Mika-chan in Fugaku's lap—he was caught completely offguard by her actions—and sprang out of her seat. "What a splendiferous couple!" She then proceeded to laugh uproariously.

Mika-chan giggled as well, and clapped her chubby hands together in pure mirth. Then, a short second later, the infant proceeded to chew on Fugaku's vulnerable hand.

Fugaku watched the baby in confusion.

Sasuke groaned quietly.

Oh God…

Why on **earth** was Sasuke and his family so _dysfunctional_?

…

…

…

*~.……………………………….………………………………xox……………………………….……………………………….~*

His parents were gone in a flash.

It was like a whirlwind.

Seriously.

I was still trying to sort out this _tumultuous_ situation.

Apparently, I was engaged to Sasuke.  
_Apparently_, Karin didn't exist, and I wasn't his live-in nanny.  
_**Apparently**_, Sasuke and I were supposed to be conceiving little UCHIHA-BABIES in about a month or so.

_**APPARENTLY**_, UCHIHA SASUKE WAS ONE BIG FAT STUPID ARSEHOLE LIAR.

Who gave me a gorgeous 'engagement illusion' ring!

(Oh, what a twisted web we weave…)

Sighing loudly, I proceeded to off all the lights in the living room, and to finally go deal with the two idiots in my room. Two hours had passed. I just hoped that they hadn't killed each other…

But before that, I had to check on a sleeping Mika. After she had attempted to _eat_ her grandfather, (cannibalism _isn't_ cool, dude!) I had given her _human_ food (as in, not another human), and then whisked her off to bed.

Or to crib.

Whatevs.

I tiptoed down the dark hallway of Uchiha Sasuke's house to the nursery (aka my second room), careful not to wake her. When I finally reached the nursery, I wasn't expecting to see the shadowy silhouette that I did. I peered at it closely, before whispering softly, "Uchiha-sama…?"

"I thought I told you to stop calling me that," he replied, equally as quiet.

I blushed madly, because I didn't think that I would ever get used to addressing him so _informally_. "Oh yea…" Insert awkward giggle. "Sorry, I forgot…" I walked forward a bit, and came to stop at Sasuke's side.

(This was complete and utter déjà vu…)

I furrowed my eyebrows at the darkness that was Mikazuki. How could Sasuke-kun even see her? Other than a multicolored nightlight in the corner of the room, it was pitch black in there. "Um… so you can see her…?"

"No," he paused, "But I can hear her…"

It was quiet moments like these that I just _adored_; moments in which Sasuke said outrageously cryptic things, and I interpreted them to be something of a deeper, sweeter nature. At times, I felt as though Sasuke was telling me _everything_ about himself with even saying much…

It was so odd…

Biting my lip, I twisted the ring on my finger with my thumb contemplatively. I didn't know what it was exactly, but I had a burning desire to get to know him and what he was about. It was almost overwhelming.

I was infatuated with Uchiha Sasuke…

_Awesome_.

…

…

…

"_Sakura_."

"!"

HAD I JUST HEARD HIM CORRECTLY?

Had he just called me _Sakura_?

By now, the warmth on my cheeks had to burn with the intensity of a thousand suns; my stomach was dong back flips and cartwheels; and my palms were sweating… uncontrollably. I swallowed the lump in my throat, and I had to lean against Mikazuki's crib for support, because my legs had literally turned to jelly.

No, scratch that.

They had turned to _jam_.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Uh…"

At a loss for words, much?

"Sakura, look at me." Im not sure when he had made the transition from standing at my side to standing _directly behind me_—it was most likely during my pointless inner musings—but at the moment, I felt his breath on the nape of my neck.

"Um… o-okay, b-but no funny business mister… I'm _serious_!"

I spun on my heels slowly, only to come face-to-chest with Sasuke-kun.

Woah.

Unconsciously, I inhaled his scent—I wasn't sure what it was exactly, but it smelled like a feminine-masculine mix :]—and it made me pleasantly dizzy.

I thought that I would just freakin' die when his arm went around my waist, and he pulled me dangerously closer to himself. At this point, he was so close that I could feel the rail of Mika-chan's crib pressing against the small of my back.

A pleasant jolt surged through my lower abdomen. Oh _God_—this had to stop _**now**_!

My eyes widened, "_S_-_Sasuke_-_kun_!" I hissed violently, and saying his first name didn't really help to calm me down much. My hands went up against his chest, but my attempts to push him away were embarrassingly futile. "_Stop_! Wh-whats _wrong_ with you?! Are you _high_?!"

He whispered huskily in my ear, "_Sakura_—" When his lip brushed against my ear, it caused another _forbidden_ jolt, "—you ask too many questions…"

_NomatterhowmuchIwantedit_, this couldn't happen! There was just too much at stake. Even though I disliked Karin with the very fiber of my being, I wouldn't help Sasuke cheat on her… it was just _wrong_. And we were in Mikazuki's _nursery…_

Wrong, wrong, wrong, _wrong_, _**wrong**_!

…It was just too bad that my body didn't agree with my mind.

* * *

_**To Be Continued...**_

* * *

Authoress Note: No, I did NOT forget about Ino and Naruto. And yeah, I jammed a bunch of SasuSaku in there… WELL I WANTED TO SO HUSH IT UP! And as you can clearly see, I just had fun with this chapter. I'm still trying to figure out where this darn story is gonna go.

But character development FTW!

:]

Btw; I returned to my old name.

You like? :D


	9. Chapter 09: Blackout

Authoress Note: Well, my reviews have decreased. It is of no concern, however, because I will be happy with whatever little I get. :]

P.S. These STUPID "straight" quotes are _really _**pissing** me off! Why did change it?!

Notes: Im not exactly sure if I ever disclosed what season it was… If I did, it's been so darn long that I can't remember. Heh. That being said, 'tis summer.

And I know that this story is under the rating of T… but it's really taking a stroll on the outskirts of M town. If you are a very, _very _faint reader, then please disregard that… uh, 'bit.' It's not really a lemon/lime… I guess you can call it half-assed innuendo, or SOMETHING. I totally hesitated a million times while writing that part. :P

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

* * *

**Attaining The Impossible**

Chapter 09: Blackout

I saw a bright flash in the corner of my eye that tore through the think darkness.

My hands were resting against Sasuke's warm shoulders, still trying to push him away (a feat that wouldn't soon be accomplished, of course) but my arms fell limp, if only for a moment, as I distractedly squinted into the blinding source of the light.

And Sasuke… well, Sasuke's (hotmoistAWESOME) lips were pressed softly against my clavicle, and his hand was almost under my skirt, when he suddenly paused. He turned his head silently, seeming to want to investigate the source of the glow as well.

I shuddered when his hair brushed against my chin—

"_Shameless_!"

It was a female voice that I couldn't forget.

Naruto, though I couldn't see him, shouted his friend's name accusingly, "Sasuke-_bastard_!" And then the light which I had at that point deemed to be a flashlight was beamed in my face. I felt like a common _criminal_; a deer caught in the headlights!

Naruto wailed; and I could only pray that the sleeping child did not wake from her slumber, "Let go of Sakura-chan! You… you _rapist_!"

I opened my mouth to speak, but I could hardly formulate a complete sentence. (Uchiha Sasuke had that kind of effect.)

"Uhh…"

Naruto, who had been lying at the base of the door, now stood to his full on his feet. I watched as another dark figure entered the room, (which just had to be Idiot-chan Ino) and flickered the overly-brilliant lights on.

"So _what_ have we here?!" Ino shrieked in the _annoyingly _high, earsplitting voice that she possessed. "This doesn't look like you're _working_ at all, Sakura!"

I only blinked as the disastrous situation slowly unraveled itself. Naruto and Ino must've broken out of my room _somehow_, and then went on some faux spy mission to catch me and Sasuke in the act. It worked, kind of…

Err… but it was Sasuke for Pete's Sake! How the hell was I supposed to shove _that_ man away?!

Really, if someone like Sasuke pinned you against a crib (no matter how **wrong** it was) and kissed on your body like _mad, _then you'd have no choice but to just stand there in a complete and utter euphoria and just take it!

I was broken out of my stupor (_reverie_) when I felt several degrees cooler than before. Sasuke-_kun_ (ahem) had released me (shame, really), and the warm pressure that his body had against my body disappeared. He slowly turned to face Ino and Naruto, his lips pressed into a thin, stern line. It was bordering a snarl; seriously.

"Why are you both still here?" His coal eyes shifted to Ino, and then to Naruto, and then to Ino again; carefully observing foreign blonde. "And _who_ are you?"

Ino shifted from one foot to the other, as if nervous from being scrutinized (but I was all too familiar with how Yamanaka Ino functioned—she always utilized that 'coy' thing of hers. But, in reality, she harbored little to no mansuetude). She then proceeded to flash him a pretty, innocent smile, as though she _hadn't_ trespassed in his home.

"I'm Yamanaka Ino!" She blurted a little-too happily, and inwardly, it made me cringe in five-hundred and ninety-three very different—and all awfully painful—ways. "Pleased to make your acquaintance, my dear sexy friend."

Sasuke raised a slim, curious eyebrow at her blatant flirtation.

Oh God…

"_Ino_—" Naruto hissed from off to her side, "—don't you think you're overdoing it a bit? This really isn't part of the _plan_—"

I hardly missed a beat as Ino struck him in the back of the head. "_Shut up_!"

"What the hell… _Ino_!"

"Well maybe if you weren't so thickheaded—"

"—maybe if you weren't so busy _flirting_ with the enemy—!"

They were instantly _shut up_ when was another shrill cry sounded—one that didn't belong to Ino. I belonged to precious little Mika-chan, who was fussing in discontent at being waken from her sleep.

I took the upset child in my arms and glared at the idiotic intruders, both which were currently silent. (Yeah, wake her up and _then _bite your tongues! That _totally_ makes more sense!) "You guys are just _stupid_! What are your purposes?!"

Beside me, Sasuke released something of a quiet, helpless snort. I turned to him and watched as he leaned against the light pink rail of Mika-chan's crib, tilting his head slightly and thoughtfully in the air. Without cracking so much as a smile: "Your friends are cumbersome…" it was said under his breath, so that only I and Mika—had she chosen to be quiet—could have heard.

I snorted, "Perhaps you're forgetting that one of them belongs to _you_."

His deeper snort _almost_ out-snorted mine. "…Aa."

When I tore away from Sasuke's distant stare, I was surprised to find that the intruders had mad a discreet escape.

They couldn't have gotten too far, though. And when I found them, I would surely annihilate them.

I slowly made my way toward the exit, exhausted and exasperated and all the while _completely_ ignoring Mika's loudness in my ear. "I'm going to bed… or something like that." My overly-cotton socks made a soft thud against the wood as I exited—

But I didn't wait for his response.

*~.……………………………….………………………………xox……………………………….……………………………….~*

So, I ended up _not_ going to bed.

Instead, my feet led me to the small den, where I had taken to randomly lying on the carpet at the foot of this brown couch that he had. My back was against the floor, and Mika-chan was sitting on top of my stomach, completely _restricting _my breathing, and babbling some baby nonsense that was indiscernible to me.

The small child then reached forwards, placing a plump hand against my chest (Hah; _B-cup _baby!) in order to steady herself, before using the other hand to take hold of the silver chain that was around my chest. I watched her as she studied the item and tugged at it a bit; her interest seemingly piqued at its soft shininess.

My precious chain was a sacrifice, at this point; because it was the only thing that could successfully quiet Mika. She just simply would _not _go back to sleep for some reason… ugh.

The small den of Sasuke's was completely silent, save the soft, continuous thudding that I could hardly make out. My eyes shifted to the window, and I wasn't too surprised to see water droplets lazily cascading down the other side of the surface.

(Summer night rains were the freakin' _best_.)

"It has to be at least eleven o' clock by now…" I heaved an incredibly hopeless sigh, and Mika made an odd face as my breath fanned her face. (The _hell_ did she know anyway?)

This whole thing that I was in… I never got any down time. Between keeping up with Sasuke's lies, dealing with two blonde traitors, and _actually _doing my job, it was all quite stressful.

And then I had to factor in all these foreign feelings I was having… Whenever I saw Sasuke, I couldn't breathe. I couldn't _think_ right. I couldn't…

I couldn't resist him.

I couldn't recall when I had gotten so defenseless against this petty thing called romance…

Why was he able to bend me like no one else had? (Not literally, of course.) Could it have been just because he was my boss…? No, of course not; that was just a feeble excuse. It went _much_ deeper than that.

When Sasuke gave me this ring earlier, I had been so incredibly giddy, and these little butterfly thingies had fluttered around in my stomach… even if I had concealed it immaculately. I acted as if it had actually meant something. But I should have known better, because he hardly even knew who I was.

But _I_ knew exactly what _I_ was:

_I_ was the nanny.

_I_ was the modern maid.

_I_ was the one playing housewife.

And if _I_ didn't end ridiculous 'thing' between Sasuke-kun and I, then _I _was going to be…

…_the_ _homewrecker_….

…UGH!

I groaned, because the reality of the situation was that I could _honestly_ care less about this stupid job of mines anymore—which was my whole point of even being here! It wasn't about pursuing some petty, unexpected infatuation. The only thing I had become worried about at that point was _Sasuke_; about _seeing_ Sasuke; about _pleasing_ Sasuke.

(And about caring for my precious little Mikazuki, of course.)

"But the _ring…_" I moaned to myself in an overall inescapable despair, bringing said item before my face. It just barely reflected the faint orange-ish light of the chandeliers. "It's just _so_ pretty…"

"What ring?"

My heart nearly skipped a beat. I suddenly jerked forward to sit straight, and in the process, Mika's pretty little face got smashed into my b-cup bewbs. The small child then began to bang her forehead against my chest, in what I supposed was objection, but then, she was just peculiar like that.

I titled my head up at the source of the all too familiar voice: my bright blonde friend _Ino_. I had met her my junior year of high school, and ever since then, she just seemed to freakin be wherever I was.

She was more akin to a stalker than a bestfriend…

(Okay so maybe I was exaggerating just a bit.)

In her hand, I observed a clear plastic container which held about one and a half dozen red fruit. **Ugh**; I should've totally bitched at her—because _dammit _I had just gotten those strawberries from the market yesterday for _myself_—but then I decided against it because Mika's ears were still very innocent, and I didn't want to be the one to taint her.

I would leave all the corruption to Sasuke.

(Oh, dear _Sasuke-kun_…)

"You really ought to not eat other people's food without permission." My retort was so faint that it was almost buried by the light rain. "It's just bad-mannered, and it very easily could've belonged to Sasuke…"

Her bright green and blue socks were still very luminescent in the dim lighting, and she nudged my thigh roughly with her big toe, prodding me to quit hedging and instead grace her inquiry with an honest reply. "Che; how considerate of you." How sardonic of _you_! "Whatever. –Like I said, _what_ about a ring?"

I should have been the one questioning _her_ about _how_ she had discovered my whereabouts, but seriously, Ino had her ways. And it was impossible to keep her at bay.

"Just… I was just daydreaming about… about this whole random, silly thing…" I trailed off, giggling nervously—Ino was unexpectedly _great_ at exposing my hedges. "That's basically it, _Stalker-chan_."

"_Right_," she drawled doubtfully, but in spite of that, I could tell that she had already let the situation go.

_Thank God._

Ino lowered herself besides me, and crossing her legs, she rested her back against the small brown recliner nonchalantly. "This 'job'of yours seems _very_ exciting, Sakura-_channnn_…" I could almost sense her mischievous smirk as she chewed on my_my__**my**_ stolen fruit. "It's only been a few weeks and you're already losing yourself in _Sexy_-kun!"

I offhandedly noted Mika's soft stirrings in my lap. Ino attempted to poke the sleeping girl interestedly, but I didn't hesitate to slap her hand away. "You mean _Sasuke_-kun, idiot. _Uchiha Sasuke_-kun." The blush was something I had learned to conceal when I said his name. "And _you're_ trespassing in his house! Seriously, he doesn't even know you!"

She pursed her pink lips knowingly, (**stained with forbidden fruit!**) as if she had previously learned of _all_ my dirty little secrets. "But he knows _you, _and I've missed you! – Which is why I had to come see you, B-T-W. – And, if he hasn't called the cops by now, then _apparently_, he doesn't mind it that much." She smiled thoughtfully.

"I…" My mouth closed before it released another traitorous sound. However, pure, _unadulterated_ freakin emotion was full to bursting inside of me; I just couldn't hold it in anymore. "You know… I _like_ him, Ino. A lot."

She raised her blonde eyebrows in an enthusiastic sort of curiosity. "Who, _Sexy_-kun?" I remained silent at that, and allowed her question to marinate in that big blonde head of hers.

She _obviously_ already knew the answer!

It took a moment—and in that moment, I realized that Mika was fast asleep against the pillows that were my bewbs; I heard that the rain was coming with much more velocity than before—before coming to the conclusion that Ino was simply too dense.

But I already knew that.

(Heh; hard to believe that I silently loved that _seemingly_ brainless dolt.)

"_Yes_, stupid! And it's _Sasuke_-kun! And I just feel _so dumb _because…" I faltered in a slight in embarrassment. "…because I hardly even know him!"

"Oh, well that doesn't matter!" she quickly replied, shoving the last of my _precious_ strawberries into her fat mouth. "Since you already live in the same house, going in should be easy, right? He sort of already digs you, I think."

And she drew that from _what_; seeing him _sexually_ _harass_ me?!

(**And OMG Sasuke-kun saw me **_**naked**_**!**)

-insert deadpan-

…

…

…

"He has a… a 'wife,'" I admitted.

"Who?"

"Karin."

"Is she ugly?"

"Yes… **but** then, she kinda has this peculiar prettiness to her…"

"Oh… so she's _ugly_…"

"It doesn't matter how she looks! I still can't pursue these _stupid _desires that I'm having! That'll make me a—"

Thunder cracked a little too loudly for my comfort, a flash catching my line a vision, and my heart began to race uncontrollably. I gasped, praying to God that Mika wouldn't be woken by it.

Ino, however, didn't seem to be very bothered by it. She instead took the liberty of finishing my statement for me (damn her), "—a homewrecker, right?" I silently agreed. "That's not a real good look, darling."

"Don't you think I know that, you _animal_?! Ugh, I feel like a dirty little homewrecking _whore _because I just really _really_ _**really**_ wanna sleep with him—who, might I add, has a _child_! Even if I **hardly** know who he is, Ino, I still wanna freakin _lay_ Uchiha Sasuke!"

Another deafening crack of thunder, and me, Mika, and Ino were swallowed up in think darkness. I blinked to see if it was all real, because I actually thought it possible that I might go blind for being so perverse as to exclaim how badly I wanted to jump Sasuke…

I was just _horrible _person, wasn't I?

Ino's loud and enthusiastic squeal were the only sounds I could make out, coupled along with the loud rain and occasional heavy thunder. There was another flash of light.

Thanks a lot mother nature!

"Glow in the dark party over Sasuke's!" Hearing Naruto's crazed laugh was a bit disappointing; why hadn't _he_ been struck by lightning?

:(

"Naruto, _shut up_. –Sakura?"

My stomach did major flips; I would never be able to get over that silver-tongued speech of his. It seemed to be second nature to him. Asdfghjkl. "Um yeah… I'm here."

"Oh…? Is that _you _Sexy-kun?" I would have kicked the life out of Ino, had I known where she was currently located. Alas, I didn't.

Naruto released an obnoxious snort, "Who the hell's that?"

"It's… Sasuke, apparently…" I explained. I tried to stand the best I could, because the shock of that freakin thunder and lightning had turned my legs to mush.

Yeah; it was very hard to believe that I was _still_ scared of thunderstorms.

I heard a click, and Naruto was once again shining that damned flashlight in my eyes. "Y'know what we should all just do? We should have a sleepover. Yeah, that'd be _bomb_."

I tried to shield my eyes. "A sleepover?! _Seriously_! What are we; five?! The power's out and—"

"You're just scared!" Did everybody get off on interrupting me, or something? Ino piped, "Stop being a little girl! A sleepover'd be greatttt."

"So, what about you, Sasuke-_bastard_?"

Naruto pointed that over-iridescent thing at Sasuke, and I only observed. Observed the way that he just stood there, staring blankly out the window and at the black and purple overcast. He looked so… cool? Cryptic?

Ugh, that lanky-bastard irritated me, even though I was something like head-over-heels in infatuation with him. Why did he have to try to make himself look cool even in a situation like this?

With his idiotic hands shoved idiotically in his idiotic pockets, and with his idiotically idiotic rigid stance, and that idiot look on his face… He was an idiot; the epitome of idiotically idiotic idiocy!

Um…

"Hey!" Naruto screamed again when he received no answer, "Did ya hear me?"

"I don't care," he said calmly with a slight sigh. He plopped down onto the floor, his legs folded sullenly. "…Just leave me out of it."

Emo!

I don't know why, but I didn't sense as Ino approached me, and tugged a sleeping Mika out of my hands. "Before you complain, we _need_ her! Naruto and I require snacks! And we can't explore the kitchen when there might be demons, right? –It _is_ that guy's house, after all. He probably worships them, and they _thrive_ in darkness. – Babies scare away demons."

I didn't even have the stamina to begin to try to challenge Ino's crackpot theories. "I seriously don't know where you get this stuff; but, if you must, I'll go with you."

"No, you can't!" she wailed.

"Uh, why…?!"

The only source of light suddenly shifted when it was hurled into a nearby wall. What the _hell_ was wrong with these people?!

"C'mon, Naruto!"

And then, they had done it again!

Argh!

That stupid disappearing thing!

Clearly, when two blondes mix, insanity ensues. (I only hoped that they didn't corrupt Mika before Sasuke did. Ehh)

But no, I couldn't let that happen. I also couldn't be left alone in a _dark_ den with an icy-hot bastard and an overactive thunderstorm. So, disgruntledly, I got on my bare knees, and decided to search for the flashlight so I could _stop _them from corrupting Mika!

I crawled behind the couch, assuming that I would find it there. I felt around for a bit. Then, I felt cool plastic tickle my knuckle. When I attempted to lift the item, however, the stupid thing crumbled in my hand.

_So much for heavy-duty…_

Something unexpectedly brushed against my calf, so I instantly retracted my leg. Did Sasuke own a cat? Or worse, had a possum made its way into his house in order to escape the inclement weather?

OMG, I hated possums with a _burning_ passion.

They eat and they bite and they scratch (I _thinkkkk_) AND they disintegrate your brains! They're ruthless vultures, who dig in trash searching for their next fill. Which, might I add, is terribly disgusting.

I forced myself to dismiss the revolting thoughts because _OhMyGod I could be freakin' getting attacked right now_! I twisted until I was sitting fully on my bottom, swallowing the dry lump in my throat. Whether it stemmed from fear or weariness, I didn't entirely know.

"Uhh… who's there?"

There was no harm in trying. After all, if it was some alien beast, then surely, it wouldn't be able to respond to me. At least I would know its species before I was devoured.

"_Sexy-kun_."

I froze.

"S-Sasuke-kun?"

"No," his voice was booming and low as he spoke; it was subtly irresistible. I felt him climbing up over my legs, and then over my (_slightly_) trembling body, until I could sense that his face was level with mine. "It's Sexy-kun," he quietly spoke.

And suddenly, I could feel _it_ again.

I could feel that heat building between us; the fanning of his breathing against my face; the treacherous fluttering building in the pit of my stomach. And with that, the other and more bothersome _it_ returned—the feeling of relentless desire, which completely overshadowed my mortification and helplessness and overall _guilt_… All of it was mixing together, resulting in one very distortedly pleasant situation.

I really should have tried harder to stop him, to save Mika from a life of utter stupidity; but he one-upped me. The hands that proved to be ineffective in shoving him off me were now pinned to either side of my hand. I drew in a powerless gasp.

Why was I the only one who saw it?! I wasn't supposed to be the only one feeling shamefaced here! He was trying to become shamelessly involved with me, all whilst having a significant other! So why was I the only one considering the consequences…?

"Sasuke-kun…" I was breathless at that point. Having now forgotten about the ever-present thunderstorm and Naruto, Ino _and_ Mika, and I blinked into the darkness—he always made me forget. My only concern now was about catching a glimpse of the expression of his face. I wanted to see if there was any emotion; even in the slightest. "W-we really shouldn't… _you_ **know** we shouldn't… what about—"

He seemed to know exactly what I was about to say. "Is that all you think about?" I could sense the slight irritation in his voice. It unnerved me to no end, but it couldn't be helped.

I gathered whatever little resolve I had left and managed a nervous response. "N-no! But I mean… You have _some_ kind of commitment to her! Why should I be the one to help you destroy it?!"

For a while, he didn't reply to me. I intently waited for the sound of his mellifluous voice, but, instead, the sound of the incessant rain droplets was all the reached my ears.

Then, the grip against my wrist tightened ever so slightly. Sasuke-kun spoke more slowly now, much less harsh than before. "Tell me…" he paused, and I took the moment to focus in on his labored breathing. "Have you even seen Karin for the past week, Sakura?"

It was straightforward and harsh.

And I knew the answer.

When I remained silent, his grip tightened again and he stressed, "_Have_ you?" There was now a type of faint infuriation lingering in his mode. "Yeah... I didn't think so. And I seriously don't care, Sakura. It doesn't matter to me either way."

What a stupid thing to say! What did he mean he didn't care?! Honestly! I still didn't know if he was marred to Karin, of if they were engaged, or if they were in a relationship or whatever! It didn't matter. He was in some way, shape, or form committed to her! No matter how vile a woman Karin appeared to be, as a fellow woman, I couldn't stand by and watch her be cheated on.

(Even if there was a huge possibility that she was a cheater herself… I wasn't sure about that, though. But…)

I just couldn't hold my tongue any longer, for the convoluted relationship between he and Karin was so truly dysfunctional that it was, somehow, a tad disturbing.

"If that's the case, then please tell me: What's the purpose of you two still even being together?! Ugh, I don't care if you guys find cheating on each other thrilling, or whatever, but this 'relationship' of yours is _very_ unhealthy! If you _want _to cheat on her, I won't—!"

My heart stopped. He had slipped his leg in between my own, separating them slightly. My heart was now beating uncontrollably, and I suddenly became terribly in tune of everything. His knew was rubbing up against my leg, causing that _stupid_ pencil skirt of mine to ride further and further up my thigh.

I trapped his leg in-between my own to prevent any further movement. But I had to, for he was threatening to _expose_ me!

I blamed my slight inability to speak on the ever climbing indignity. Nevertheless, I forced a lukewarm, "Sasuke-kun! S-stop, _now_! I don't want to help you on your mission of infidelity!"

He snorted agitatedly and lowered his body so lowly over my own that I could feel his bangs brushing against my forehead. His leg jerked, but I made _sure _not to release him.

"Shut up, Sakura… you liar."

"_Me_?! Wh-what?! _How_?!"

He had released my wrists by now, but I was too distracted by everything else to notice. His warm, calloused hands were already boldly beneath my blouse, pushing the bra strap off my shoulder.

His next statement though, was much more shocking than anything he had said or done thus far. This was something that I just didn't see myself getting out of.

"Because, if you really wanted so badly to _lay _Uchiha Sasuke…" he broke his leg free when my legs slackened distractedly in disbelief, and his knee pushed my skirt further up my leg.

"…then now would be your chance."

* * *

**_To Be Continued..._**

* * *

Authoress' Note: I'm done after three days of nonstop writing! The only thing that really bugged me about this was that I'm not sure if it flowed the way I wanted it to… errr…

Note 1: I made Sakura hate possums. :P  
Note 2: Straight quotes really piss me off.  
Note 3: I made Sasuke a sex-fiend. Only 'cause Sakura's got it like that. :D

And I'm sorry for my attempt at 'smuttiness.' Haha, I don't know why I had the urge to write that, and if it made you uncomfortable, then too freakinn bad, because I WARNED YOU.

Curiosity killed the cat, you know.

But anyways… Sakura so does _**not**_ love Sasuke. It's one of those really intense crushes that _seems_ like love; we've all had one! Shizz, I had one in the third grade for Pete's Sakes. :P

P.S. 's formatting is pissing me off. The way this story looks... ugh! I cant stand STRAIGHT QUOTES!!!11!!111!!! AND IT WONT EVEN PUT THE STUFF IN THE MIDDLE LIKE I WANT IT TO BE!1!!!!111 WHAT IS *WRONG* WITH YOUR FORMATTING?!?! Srsly guys, I'm like OCD right now. :( lol

Well, 'till next time then, lovelies.  
And please, do enjoy my pointless teaser:

:)

* * *

**_Preview:_**

"Oh Sasuke-honey...! I'm back!"

I glanced down at Sasuke, and intently focused on the lack of...

_Damn_.

Plainly put, the cow excretion was seriously about to slap the fan.


	10. Chapter 10: Psychotic Tango

Authoress' Note: Two months? Or has it been three months? I don't know... All I know is that I've been working on **life, unwritten** (another SasuSaku) like a maniac without paying much mind to this...

Anyways; something of a plot in my head. Be patient. But then again, who says that this can't be the story about _nothing_? :D This ought to be Attaining The Impossible; the story about nothing at all. Like Seinfeld, or err, something.

Notes:  
1) There's a minor couple down there that you may or may not enjoy. Sorry.  
2) This chapter is rather (VERY) perverted, with lots of not-so-subtle sexual references. I seriously don't know what's wrong with me…

Disclaimer: Bof! I don't own Naruto.

* * *

**Attaining The Impossible**

Chapter 10: Psychotic Tango

I had gone completely silent in the moments following.

I didn't believe him, frankly. 'Now would be your chance,' he had said? Yes, that was what he said to me. What kind of _crackpot_ notion was that implying, exactly? No, I knew what it was implying, but I didn't want to actually believe it… I mean, seriously? Was he so bold? And, really, did I look so easy?

My eyebrows furrowing into a telltale sign of doubt, I stared blankly up at the dark ceiling above me. I spoke quietly, if not for my own mortification, then for the fact that I didn't need Naruto and Ino discovering us—_again_!—in such a compromising position. "I don't understand you… You shouldn't say _rubbish_ just because you're sexually frustrated."

- Lol. Rubbish… _rubbish_. Funny word. :D -

He grunted against my collarbone in response, having had rested his head there a few moments ago. Sasuke… well, he was warm. Really warm. And _heavy_. I could hardly breathe with him on top of me the way he was, but for the time being, I would just endure it. There was nothing else that could be done at the moment, anyway. Attempting to remove him would be, of course, _again_—futile_._

Yes. I would endure it. I would do that, _and _pretend that I hadn't noticed the way his hand had shamelessly slipped underneath my blouse and atop my stomach, encouraging the frantic butterflies that lied beneath. It was driving me crazy and making me sweat in places that _I was not supposed to freakin' sweat in_.

"I could say the same for you," he said slowly, and I forced myself to pretend that his hand wasn't where it currently rested.

Had it not been for morals, I would have long ago laid Sasuke.

Yeah, I was just that barefaced when it came to this sort of thing.

Besides, what _was_ this, some kind of sick fantasy?

"I'm _not_ sexually frustrated. I just said that… I don't know why I said that. And to be quite honest, it doesn't actually matter. I'm a college student, Sasuke-kun, who has lacked every experience imaginable for a girl my age. Excuse me for indulging and fantasizing about a bastard like you for just a _second_—quit being so freakin' selfish about your apparent hotness. The world deserves to share in it."

I stopped for a second, wondering why I was telling him all that in the first place. However, it was almost immediately forgotten when I realized that I had to call him on whatever tricks he was trying to play on me. The words were already rolling off my tongue, in a hazy take of what I presumed to be true about him and his _extremely_ confusing actions.

"Look, you're smexy, Sasuke-kun. And I _know_ that you know that I know that you're smexy. But what I said, it wasn't for _you__—_though I see that it managed to inflate this ever-expanding head of yours. I was supposed to be speaking _privately_ with Ino, when you and Naruto thought it'd be 'cool_'_ to eavesdrop. _This,_" I was referring to our position, "Is just intentional innuendo—your sick way of torturing me just because you're a deluded psychopath with too much time on your hands. You get gratification from this, because you _know_ I can't take it. You're teasing me, Sasuke-'_kun,_' by giving me bits and pieces of something that you know I damn well can't have—and you won't give me. And you know why? Because you're Uchiha Sasuke and you're a pompous sadist."

There. That was my little rant for the night.

I was all too aware when his hand withdrew from underneath my blouse, once again moving to rest above my shoulder. Maybe I had gotten to him. Maybe my little analysis had some truth to it, but like always, my hopes were mercilessly dashed when he laugh-snorted. Whatever the hell a laugh-snort was.

He was once again hovering over me, but I made sure not to surrender into my girlish delight. Right now, I had _nerves of steel_. I had a purpose—to expose Uchiha Sasuke for the sex-crazed, self-gratifying, lunatic he was.

"I guess you think you've got me figured out," he whispered, and I was sure he still had that arrogant, satisfied-for-no-reason smirk on that face of his. "Then why don't you do something about it? Prove me wrong."

I narrowed my eyes at his, which only dully reflected the moonlight pouring through the window. Was that a _challenge_? A sexual one, no less? "As if. I'm not buying into your psychotic _sex_ games. I won't flatter myself into thinking that someone such as me would be able to sleep with you…"

I honestly believed it. This entire thing was just one of his _games_. How could it be a coincidence that he had hired a young live-in maid such as myself; then shamelessly proceeded to 'seduce' me—or close to it—on a multitude of occasions? Yes, he knew that he was irresistible; he knew that even I would fall to his 'charm'; and I was aware that he was only doing it because he _could_. He only wanted to see if he possessed the power to push a young woman such as me to the brink of sexual insanity; but that was the thing, HE ALREADY KNEW THAT HE COULD!

So my thesis was that _this_, and everything else that had occurred between he and I, was merely him using me as a subject in his self-satisfying, twisted carnal mind games.

No, he didn't have the intention to sleep with me—he was using his _beauty_ as a weapon in his own self-indulgence.

D:

(At least, it seemed that way to me.)

"Prove me _wrong_ then, Sakura," he suddenly repeated, and I could hardly make out the traces of an amused smirk on his face. "Resist me."

The tone in which he said that… It would have made me blush, I supposed, had he _not_ been challenging me to withstand his rather _enticing_ advances. However, since it was somewhat of a test, I would win. Haruno Sakura _always_ won.

"Fine! Then get _off_ me!" For the first time in a long time, Sasuke didn't feel as heavy. When I drove my hands into his firm—ahem. Very firm. Quite firm—chest to throw him of, he seemed to allow me. Once I had successfully shoved him off to my side with all my womanly strength, I immediately sat up, not desiring to be once again pinned down by him. I allowed myself to look at him then, whilst absently pulling my skirt back down to a modest level.

"I won't have sex with you," I shamelessly stated, having grown tired of his intent stare.

"Hn. I didn't ask you to," and then he proceeded to pull at my hair, which was an odd gesture in itself. "You're a different specimen, Haruno, from what I usually toy with… But I'm sure that you'll throw yourself at me eventually, just like the rest."

"Really now?" I leaned forward, daring. "Try me."

He didn't answer me, but I supposed that he didn't enjoy me counter-challenging him. Which was probably why he reached forward, and roughly tugged my white blouse to an unbecoming open. The only thing I instantly registered was flying buttons, and a very chilly draft…

Objecting to Sasuke was like playing with fire. "_Sasuke_, what the hell—?"

"Oh Sasuke-honey…! I'm back!"

And before I could register anything at all, the lights flickered on.

Finally about to see clearly, I glanced down at my very open blouse, then up at Sasuke who was boldly ogling me and my lace brassiere. Frowning, I took my palm and drove it into the entirety of his face, successfully blocking his vision. And he was _still_ smirking against my palm!

"Stop being a pervert, just for _once_!" Huffing, I quickly stood.

I had heard something. I could've sworn I heard something. I had… hadn't I?

Sighing, I walked out from behind the couch, leaving an oddly satisfied Sasuke in my wake and wondering whose voice it was, but in a way, already instinctively knowing. Pulling my blouse together, it only faintly escaped me that Naruto and Ino had been left alone with Mika to gather 'snacks,' or something of the like, for far too long.

What if they ruined her…?

And, to make speculative matters worse, Karin _had_ returned.

I was out of that den before I—much less Sasuke the perverted bastard—had realized it. I inconspicuously made my way to the kitchen, careful to avoid Karin and her banshee-like ways. It was so incredibly odd, how she could be gone for days—even weeks—at a time, then return as if everything was just fine. And then Sasuke would just take her back, as if everything was just fine. I don't even know if 'take her back' is the correct term to use, because only God knew what the relationship was between those two.

In the kitchen, I found Naruto, with one _very_ open fridge. He was hunched over the island beside a can of half-eaten diced tomatoes, and snacking on what looked like crackers.

"Where's Ino?" Because I had only left them alone for about thirty minutes, and it took at least one hour before the vagrant Yamanaka Ino, wandered off to somewhere she had no business being. Like say, the mansion of Uchiha Sasuke. One day, that wanderlust of hers was going to get her killed.

(Lulz)

Seriously.

"Hm?" Mouth stuffed with crackers and tomatoes, Naruto squinted at me, for some reason. He titled his head to the side, eyebrows raised. Thankfully, he managed to swallow before he offered, "You know, your jugs are kinda hangin' out."

Swiftly, I once again pulled my blouse to a close. "_Thanks_ for that information, _really_." Sarcasm. "Now can you just tell me where Ino is? Please."

After staring at me for a minute or two, he simultaneously shoved four crackers into his mouth and shrugged. "Dunno. She left a little after the rain let up. Somethin' about a club… or something. Said she wouldn't be back 'till morning."

My gosh…! _Seriously_? Ino went to a nightclub… and left me defenseless in this madhouse? And so quickly, too! At times, she had the attention span of a dying camel! What a horrible friend she was…

"And Mika-chan? Did she go clubbing as well?"

My attempt at humor.

Fail.

Naruto seemed to notice my epic failure as well. "Um, I put the runt to sleep when she got irritating. So it's just me. And crackers. _Lots_ of crackers. Beef ramen flavored, actually…"

I rolled my eyes, pretending to not notice how truly bizarre that was, yet all the while wondering where he had retrieved such items in Sasuke's house. "Just… clean up after yourself, alright?"

When he absently waved me off, I proceeded to leave a ravenous Naruto to his merciless devouring.

The last thing that was supposed to be on my mind that night was Sasuke and that evanescent woman, but it was. And before I went to sleep that night, I could only faintly wonder why.

*~.….…xox….….~*

When I woke up the next morning, I smelt alcohol.

Fruity alcohol.

I stirred. Groaning tiredly, I flopped over on my belly, trying to avoid the incandescent sunshine. It felt nice and balmy, radiant almost, just like how Sasuke had a tendency of making me feel. I almost cracked the ghost of a smile at that notion, but it was instantly forgotten at that smell. The aroma of fruity alcohol, it was _still_ there.

Curious as to the peculiar scent, I rolled over once more. The instant I did, I was startled beyond compare. Instead of a white wall, I was staring into overly bright cerulean orbs. The person—this idiotic blonde of a person—smiled at me, as though nothing was out of the ordinary. Little did she know, she had scared me half to death!

"Good morning, Sakura," Ino greeted simply, smiling brightly. She was on her side as well, resting her head on her arm as a makeshift pillow.

When she spoke, a flood of bitterly smelling fruit fanned my face. That, mixed with her terrible morning breath, would have caused me to vomit my breakfast, had I had any. In reply, "Your breath smells horrible."

Deadpanning, she blinked. "Yours does too."

"Why did you disappear last night?" I retorted, ignoring the blatant insult. Good friends didn't leave friends with sexual maniacs. They seriously didn't do that to one another. Screw the pleasantries. It was _uncool_.

"Naruto and Mika… they were boring me. Besides, I was in a new town…" She halted for a teary yawn, to which she stretched her limbs out. After the pause she contentedly sighed, and settled in _my_ bed once more. "…so I just figured that I may as well—"

"—get completely smashed without me," I offered bitterly. I narrowed my eyes when she simply shrugged, as if completely unashamed.

"I supposed that it would've been troublesome had I walked in on you and Sasuke again…"

"We didn't _do_ anything!"

Ino laughed again. "You know, I met this really interesting guy at the club last night."

It was my turn to sigh. Why did she figure that I would be interested in her escapades, when I wasn't able to experience any for myself? I snorted. "Wonderful, _really_."

"I'm serious," she persisted, "He was a childhood friend of mine, and I got reacquainted with him yesterday by chance. He has potential."

"Whatever."

"But _Sakura_!"

…"You're loud, Ino."

I blinked, because that voice had not come from me. Rather, it had come from beside Ino, who was in my bed. Which meant that there was a man with an unfamiliar voice—a _stranger_!—in my bed. Using my shoulder to prop myself up, lo and behold, there was another person in my bed. "What the hell, _Ino_? Who _is_ that?"

The shock registered in an instant, and before I knew it, I had kicked Ino and her… 'companion' out of my most likely sullied bed. They both tumbled onto the floor with a loud thud, and I took a bit of satisfaction in the way Ino squeaked.

I sat up, glaring at Ino.

"There are several things wrong with this, Ino! A _multitude_ of things are bizarre about this!" And _I_ thought beef ramen-flavored crackers were bizarre. "You can't bring strange men into other people's houses! Or _beds_, for that matter! Especially when _you're_ not supposed to be there yourself!"

Huffing, she had the nerve to look indignant at _me_! "I just wanted you to meet him! What type of thanks is this?"

"_Thanks_? You want me to thank you? For _what_—BRINGING A STRANGE MAN INTO MY BED WHILE I WAS IN IT? A STRANGE, UNFAMILIAR, _STRANGER_! A MAN THAT YOU MET AT THE NIGHTCLUB, NO LESS. FOR ALL WE KNOW, HE COULD BE A DIRTY MAN-WHORE INFECTED WITH _GONORRHEA_!"

Ino, who seemed to be awaked at my tirade, relaxed into a sitting position on the floor, sparing her cohort a curious glance. He, who was dressed in a white t-shirt and boxers, looked completely unembarrassed by the entire situation. _Bored_, almost. Softly, Ino hesitantly inquired, "Shikamaru, you're not contaminated, are you? With Gonorrhea? Or, uh, anything else…?"

He sighed tiredly, and tilted his head to look up at the ceiling. "Not that I know of…"

Smiling, Ino turned back to me. "See, every thing is a-okay! He's _completely_ sterile, Sakura!"

*~.….…xox….….~*

To say that I was slightly disturbed from the morning's happenings was a severe understatement. Of all the time that I had spent in this madhouse, that had to be the most unpleasant wake-up in which I had ever had the displeasure of experiencing. Yeah.

Ino and _Shikamaru_—I think his name was—were currently 'busy' on Sasuke-kun's nice white couch. (That poor, poor, couch.) It was rather disgusting, if I do say so myself. After I had kicked them the _hell_ out of my room, I supposed that they thought the living room an adequate place to settle themselves.

The attraction didn't even make much sense to me. I mean, Ino was attractive enough, so I saw why he may have been interested in _her_. But Ino… Ino's type was Sasuke, plainly put. Built, handsome to the point of girlishness, and completely self-centered. Shikamaru was like the polar opposite from first impression. He was a sort of scrawny thing, though not overly so; he wasn't ugly at all, but he didn't seem like the type to make women swoon at first glance; and his attitude…?

Completely jaded for no apparent justification. Almost to the point of appearing entirely uninterested in life. He was so terribly uncaring and laidback that it was just… _depressing_. I briefly wondered if he was suicidal.

But then, maybe that was why Ino liked him. Because he was something she could probably dominate… Ew. I didn't actually approve of her getting slightly intimate with someone she had just got 'reacquainted with'—after all, she was _still_ my friend and I _was_ the more levelheaded of the two—but to each his or her own, I guess.

Other than watching over Mika, I had been slacking on my duties lately, mostly because Sasuke hadn't made it a point to complain about it. So now, I focused on my work, vowing not to be once again distracted. I failed miserably. As I loaded the dishes from the dishwasher to the dish rack, I couldn't divert my mind from it's hopeless musings.

Last night, when Karin returned after however long, it had escaped me that I had left the two alone. After I had left Sasuke alone in the den, he must've surely gone to confront Karin—_or_ welcome her. Which one, I didn't know. The only thing that I was sure of was that the thought of them alone left a bitter taste in my mouth. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't even attempt to wrap my head around their contorted relationship. And Sasuke was making matters worse by not telling me _anything_ about it!

But maybe it wasn't my business… Perhaps it truly wasn't.

Earlier, I had consulted an unlikely source, hoping to get some insight as to the essence of their relationship and cure my insatiable interest in the matter. _Naruto_, of all people. After I had found Naruto slumped over the island, morbidly gargling on tiny bits of crackers and tomatoes, I had questioned him on the spot. He, still half asleep, only mumbled something nonsensical and trudged out of the kitchen.

Of course, that had been a horrible fail on my part.

It couldn't be helped…

Having have placed the last dish on the dish rack to dry, I began the tedious task of moving the sullied tableware into the dishwasher. As I reached for a plate, I didn't miss when a black critter came crawling out from beneath it and scurried across the countertop.

I frowned, as if looks could kill.

"I'm hungry, Sakura."

My frown deepened, as I instantly knew the origin of that smooth voice. I didn't look at him, only continued to load the dishwasher whilst watching yet another bug from the corner of my eye. Really, for just how long had I been slacking? This was just pitiful.

"Then find something to eat," I said plainly, though not actually out of spite. "I'm busy right now."

"It's your job," he reiterated, "Make me an omelet."

Pausing, I irritably clicked my tongue. I could already tell; he was testing me again! It was too early for such nonsense, and I wanted no part in whatever game he was trying to play with me. (Even thought it truly was my job.) "Even if I wanted to, we ran out of tomatoes. You wouldn't enjoy it."

"You know me pretty well… Just use the diced ones, then."

I rolled my eyes; of _course_ I knew him well. That tended to happen when a person made the same dish for the _same_ humdrum bastard every morning, without fail. "Naruto ate them all yesterday. If you want, you can dig up the can and drink the day-old juice, now probably saturated in Mika-chan's diaper."

While Sasuke took to muttering something about 'hiding the canned tomatoes,' 'eats like a vacuum,' and 'bastard,' I smiled to myself a bit. "I'm sure that plain oatmeal will suffice, Sasuke-_kun_. That's what I ate."

Because mocking him feeding off his suffering was the best feeling in the world. If he thought he had _me_ frazzled, he was so severely mistaken.

"Really now? I could've sworn that you ate _me_."

I could _feel_ the smirk. I frowned.

Bitterly.

As another critter crawled out from the sink, "You have ants, Sasuke," I quickly said, (Ha! No suffix! Take _that_!) desiring to divert the conversation. He was trying to go there with me yet again, and _I would not buy into it!_

There was a pause, then, "Take care of them."

I threw my hands in the air exasperatedly, though I still refused to turn around. "I'm _not_ an exterminator, stupid!"

"Ah. You'd be the concubine."

And then I simply couldn't take it anymore, because his plethora of innuendos was truly unnerving. I spun on my heels, ready to give the smexy asshole a piece of my mind, but then I stopped. I found myself stuck breathless; ugh, he was manmeat!

Sasuke was… naked. No, not naked, but very much close to it. The notion of the retort was instantly forgotten as I digested the personality-flawed spectacle before me. Before me stood a very shirtless Uchiha Sasuke, with broad shoulders and pretty skin and all. He wasn't very muscular at all—though he appeared that way _with_ a shirt on—rather, he was pleasantly slim for a man of his height. And while he didn't have washboard (OMG WASHBOARD) abdominals, they were defined enough for someone like me, who was rather indiscriminate when it came to body type.

Small of my back pressed apprehensively against the counter, I continued my careful scrutiny of his body. Of skin, and shoulder, and chest and abs, and… belly button. And lower even, where his towel was currently hanging dangerously low. I could see the contours of his waist, (sigh. Sasuke and his wonderfully shaved body) where I knew that if I decided to search any lower, I would most definitely find…

…_treasure_.

Invaluable jewels.

Hm.

It was kinda hot in here…

Was the stove on, perhaps?

"My eyes are up here, Sakura," he stated, and I could feel the amusement in his tone.

My eyes were still glued to that white towel of his, which managed to leave _much_ to the imagination. Breathless, I forced myself to meet his gaze. "_Where_ are your clothes?" I strained my voice into a hiss, fearful of being discovered by the various (uninvited and/or unwanted) people in the house.

He looked completely natural. "I was ready to take a shower, but the hot water seems to be out," he said, narrowing his eyes. "You look parched, Sakura; you're flushed."

The fact that the hot water was out was due to the fact that both Ino and Shikamaru, the stranger, had bathed in his shower, but I was too distracted in that moment to even _think_ of mentioning that. His body was just _in front _of me. Begging to be devoured…

_Teasing me…_

Teasing me…?

Teasing me?

_Teasing me!_

Of course! This was just another part of his _psychotic sex tango_!

"I thought…" he began, stepping closer. "That you were supposed to be _resisting_ me."

"What a dirty trick… I mean, you're naked!" I screamed. "How can I _not_ ogle?"

"Where's that resolve of yours, Sakura?" He leaned over slightly, so that he was staring down at me. "Has it dissipated simply because I removed my shirt?"

"Of course not," I huffed, feigning bravado. I would've tried to push him away again, hoping for a repeat of yesterday, had it not been for the fact the he currently donned no shirt. Feeling his bare chest… well, that wouldn't serve to improve my situation for obvious reasons.

"I'm just… you're getting unprofessional, Sasuke," I stated, in a futile attempt to distract myself. "This is all, frankly, downright inappropriate, and I just might be tempted to quit."

Satisfied by my fluster, he stepped back. "But I know you wouldn't, so it doesn't actually matter."

"Of course I _would_!"

"I'm doing you a favor, Sakura," he said seriously, "I saw you, so I figured that this would be a sort of reciprocation…"

Wide-eyed, I blushed a deep red as the memory of that day suddenly flooded back to me. "But you seem to forget that I'm not a pervert like _you_!" While I was _somewhat_ flattered at the idea, it was too much of an unusual way of thinking. What was this, an eye for an eye?—or, in this situation, a chest for a chest?

Sasuke was _tainting_ my virgin mind! And it was literally driving me insane…

Then, I glared at him for a long while, attempting to carefully decipher the lopsided, smug grin he offered me.

Sasuke was too much… much too much… How could Karin deal with having to live with him?

Just as such a thought crossed my mind, I heard Karin—

"_Sasuke_-_kun_! There are two bums making out in the living room!"

_Great_.

* * *

**_To Be Continued..._**

* * *

Authoress' Note: After two days of nonstop writing, you're welcome. :D

Lots of perviness in there. Lol. I'm so sorry.

And there is a plot growing in there, even though you may not have noticed it. It just takes time. Sasuke the sex-fiend and his little indirect challenge, Karin's return, Ino bringing strange men to a place in which even _she_ does not belong, Sakura and her 'resolve' to not be seduced, and Naruto's Naruto-ness… all of it greatly amuses me.

Review softly.


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